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Why Won't God Bless Me?

Do you ever feel God blesses everyone but you? You pray for the job promotion but it’s given to a co-worker. Your dream school sends you a letter politely telling you to go away but your best friend is immediately accepted into hers. It feels as if your dreams are on the verge of being fulfilled but are instantly yanked away, sending your emotions on a wild rollercoaster ride.

While in my twenties, I lived in Atlanta and was a dancer – a hip-hop dancer. Most people laugh when they hear this but I was a white girl who had a few moves and I dreamed of using dance as a way of reaching the inner-city youth.

I prayed, fasted and trained but I only met closed doors that were bolted shut. Every so often there were doors that were “cracked” open but never enough to lead me anywhere. I wondered why God refused to bless my dream when I was doing it for Him? Why did He tease me with the times of “almost” making it?

Unfortunately this was not a one-time thing. Many events in my life appeared as if God was about to bless me but changed His mind at the last moment – playing a cruel joke on me. However, now that I have more years behind me, I look back and I see that these times of struggle actually had purpose. 

1.    I wasn’t ready. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a time for everything and sometimes that means waiting. Looking back I see that I wasn’t mature enough emotionally and spiritually to handle my dream. I wouldn’t have represented Christ properly and possibly would have burned-out.

2.    I was too far ahead of God. Isaiah 30:21 tells us we have a voice that tells us which way to turn. I was so far ahead of the Voice that I didn’t hear it. God had touse the closed doors to slow me down to His timing. Once I did, I heard Him leading me to overseas missions – where He redirected my ministry passion (and I met my future husband – totally worth it I must say)

3.   We bonded in the trenches. Soldiers bond in war. Missionaries become family in the field. I believe the same is true with God. In times of trial I’m knocked down on my knees and God hovers over me, with me, that bonds me to Him like nothing else. He helps me develop perseverance that strengthens my character and dependency on Him. If life were perfect – I’d miss that time in the trenches with Him – where I see Him most.

There are still times when I wonder why He delays in His answers - I’m an impatient one who has a hard time staying still. But I try to remind myself that it’s not that God is refusing to bless me – it was quite the opposite. He is leading me to the correct spot where I can receive it in the right time. And now that I’ve seen what He gives in the trenches, I don’t want to miss out on it –there is nothing like it.

Do you ever feel overlooked by God?

What has He taught you in the times He had you wait?

 

Comments

What if the waiting is the blessing? The opportunity to learn and change the gift? The trial that which will bring us greatest joy? Might our notion that getting what we want is a blessing be an example of our attempt to apply our ways to God's?

Hi Joan!

Ah...great point. It is in the waiting we often see God most. We're not distracted. If I had received every "blessing" that I had prayed for - my life would be filled with a lot more heartache and stress. :-)

Great to hear from you!

Laurie

It is hard to argue with feelings - better said, it's impossible. We have feelings and they are important and they are neither right nor wrong. Feelings just are.
However, I think we venture into theologically dangerous territory when we assume that our blessing is God's highest good for my life. As I understand Scripture and Church tradition, blessing may or may not come (in this life); however, troubles are guaranteed. But, we have been assured that Jesus has conquered all.

In my times of waiting, I am reminded that the universe - even God's plans - don't revolve around me. I am reminded that this life is about becoming more Christlike as I prepare for eternity. It is not about feeling blessed. I am blessed!

Great insight Greg and a good reminder that we already are blessed! A blessing is not necessarily a material possession, position or accomplishment. As mentioned - the times I'm in the trenches with God have been some of my most blessed times.

Thanks for sharing!!

Laurie

Either you can make elaborate excuses of why prayer doesn't work, why god says "no" to deserving people (and sick children) while 'blessing' certain sports teams.

Or you could realize that blessings, 'miracles' and prayer are just a Christian's words for Blind Chance.

It's the explanation that makes more sense.

We'll i don't feel blessed and hell no i don't have any patience because i've applied my self for the last two months for a job and every door has been closed in my face , how i'm i suppose pay my bills and rent and buy food if i don't have a job and if he already knows my needs then why won't he bless me with something as simple as a job which i'm well qualified for it doesn't take much to clean someone's ass and dress them so no i don't feel blessed and frankly i'm tired of begging for the same thing over and over when there are jobs available for me out there he just wont bless me. in the scripture it said ask and you shall receive and i being asking to the best of my ability and he said that he is a GOD that he should lie we'll i'm not saying he's a liar but i don't see it no other way because he wont even bless me with the necessity to survive i feel at the mercy of my roomate because she pays the rent and she's on a fixed income and the rent takes her whole check and i get funny looks and sometimes she mistreats me because i'm not bringing anything to the table and it's very frustrating and to be honest i don't think GOD loves me like people say he does i'm not one of his chosen ones but that o.k. because all that i ask for is a job to be able to pay my way and possibly move on. i've also asked for forgiveness of my sins not once not twice but over and over and it's like he doesn't hear me and if makes me question is there really a GOD.

Brother God does love you no matter what I have 3 children whom I love with all my heart I would do anything for them however I am just a man, I could never provide for my children like God can and he loves us all much more than the love that I can provide. With that being said brother you can depend on your roommate like you stated earlier. You really have to trust and lean only on him. I was in your same situation about 2 months ago. God has lifted me and my family higher since this humbling expireiance. And might I add I feel as though I'm one of the worst kinds of sinners. But God still continues to show mercy and favor to me. When I pray in the morning I always try and remember the simplicity of asking God our father to provide us our daily bread. Brother he is sustaining you you are blessed you have breath in your body. I'm sure that God has sustained you with what you need. (it's not what we want) brother stay encouraged. Don't give up on the lord your blessing is coming trust and believe brother.

God really does love you and though I dont think we would ever meet but I love you also being you are my brother in Christ.

Brother God does love you no matter what I have 3 children whom I love with all my heart I would do anything for them however I am just a man, I could never provide for my children like God can and he loves us all much more than the love that I can provide. With that being said brother you can depend on your roommate like you stated earlier. You really have to trust and lean only on him. I was in your same situation about 2 months ago. God has lifted me and my family higher since this humbling expireiance. And might I add I feel as though I'm one of the worst kinds of sinners. But God still continues to show mercy and favor to me. When I pray in the morning I always try and remember the simplicity of asking God our father to provide us our daily bread. Brother he is sustaining you you are blessed you have breath in your body. I'm sure that God has sustained you with what you need. (it's not what we want) brother stay encouraged. Don't give up on the lord your blessing is coming trust and believe brother.

God really does love you and though I dont think we would ever meet but I love you also being you are my brother in Christ.

all of my life I've had to beat odds. When I was born I nearly died twice. My mother got cancer when I was 11 and died when I was 14. out of 4 children I'm the only one born with alcoholism (I didn't know it ran in my family until it was to late). I've managed to beat it twice but the fear of it getting the better of me is always present. Everything I've tried to do to improve my life has blown up in my face. all my siblings are happy and blessed but I'm just stuck in the wind. I'm 30 yrs. old and single. I had to move back in with my father because I got fired from my job due to internal politics and got blamed for something I did not do. No matter the situation nothing works out for my benefit. Just one time it would be nice to have something good happen for me, but it never has. I struggle daily to make ends meet doing what I can legally. I go to church regularly and scream to the lord to help me and guide me to where he wants me, but it's always to no avail. I'm tired of suffering like this. I'm to the point that God only sees me as a joke and wants to torture me. I don't want to be rich or famous I just want to be content and comfortable but as stated that never happens for me. So my question is why continue to believe and serve him when he ignores me constantly? Why be his guinea pig? I just want to find my place and be joyful. Why did he choose me to pick on for 3 decades?

My best friend and some of my family members are in similar situations and I am sorry you are hurting so badly. In this culture (I know I fit the bill too) we equate favor with material blessing but we in the US are the strange exception when you compare material wealth with the rest of the world in large part. No doubt you are surrounded by affluent folks with nice cars homes etc. and this can feel as if you are being mocked by God. The feeling of that is real but the ways that we feel do not always jive with what is real ultimately. I do not know why God is not blessing you as you desire but I know He is good despite what we may feel at times. Contentment is not about getting more but wanting what you do have and appreciating what you do have but in a culture of affluence and oppulence that is so hard to hang onto. God does not torture His children but He does not save us from all hardship even though that is what we want. We have high opinions of ourselves and so does He - He has adopted us based on His work - but we demand our stuff and our ease even if that does not mean tons of money etc. We still want our ease and want to tell the God of all to give us our demands like an angry child (which we are prone to be - it is part of our condition and does us and others harm) who the Father knows needs discipline and love in the way that He knows is best. This is mysterious and painful for us but is for our ultimate good as His children. Brother, I am sorry for your hurt but please look for what is good and meditate on these things (Philippians 4: 4-8) even if they are not the things you want from God necessarily.

I'm 20 years older than you and have been going through what you are going through ever since I was a child. Here's a list of my travails:
* My parents separated and eventually divorced
* I ended up in a foster home
* I fell in love with a girl for 6 years who hated me
* The parents of the girl I eventually fell in love with would never let us marry
* I had to move to a far away country and had a difficult time adjusting
* Went through 5 jobs in 5 years
* My wife forced me to move into a religious Christian sect in Israel
* I was expelled from the sect after seeing it for what it was but they let her stay
* I was forced to leave the country and thereby separated from my wife who deserted me.
* I wanted to return to Israel and live with my wife but not in the sect but it took me over 3 years to get to that point and on the day I achieved it, she died. We were childless.
* I lost all my property
* I am almost financially bankrupt

I have personally come to believe that we have made God out to be something that He simply isn't. I also do not believe any longer that everything in the Bible was from God. Tell a member of the first church who lived 2,000 years ago that Jesus spoke about the adulterous woman who was going to be stoned and they would be shocked to not find it in what few scriptures they had. It did not show up in any scripture for over 300 years. It makes you wonder how much else men have put into the Bible, including things like "Ask and you will receive". "Don't worry about tomorrow" and many other nice words. I really hate to sound negative but the reality is that life's a bi_ch and some people are simply destined to be blessed while others really do seem to be unblessed (maybe even cursed).

I don't want to paint it all bad. There were definitely joyful days as well. I loved my wife and was faithful to her even though she deserted me, and that being one who was a Christian. What I have now come to believe is that much of what happens in this life really is random. God does help out to a certain degree but He by far maintains a far distance from most of us. Of course, if you listen to the opinions of others here or elsewhere who will try to refute this, all you need to do is inspect their own lives. Most of them have been blessed and it is extremely easy to criticize people like you and me when you've never really gone through the fires of hell.

I do believe God is in control of everything. How much does He really care about us? I really doubt a whole lot. There are countless people out there who believe in God but starve to death and never have their needs met. We should not expect God to be our servant and grant us whatever we want. I always have expected that all of us should experience our share of sorrows and tragedies in this life but the fact is that many of us have received far more than our share. Some have received unspeakable amounts.

It's easy to think about the story of Job and say to ourselves that if only Job had known what was really behind his suffering, who initiated it and why, maybe he could have endured it much easier. That may be true, but the reality is that most of us will never receive back double for what we lost, regardless how humble we may be through the suffering. Job may have suffered a few years of extreme intense trials but there are many believers in this world who suffer their entire life although with less extreme events than Job's. I'm not really sure which is worse. Suffering what Job did for a few years or spending your entire life suffering with lesser trials? My own mother, who was a believer, died in utter poverty and sickness that she didn't even have a dress for her own funeral. Someone had to donate one.

The part that I have yet to come to grips with is the notion that God is not selfish. We will have an eternity to spend with Him and in the life to come we will have absolutely no need for faith, miracles, depending on God and seeing the works of God. In other words, it is only in this one short life that God can show us His mercy, His love and His concern in helping us out of all of life's difficulties and only then can we appreciate Him for what He is. Since there will be no troubles in the life to come, we certainly won't need Him to show us what He could in this lifetime. So how is it that He is not willing to grant many of us a little bit of happiness in this short miserable world we live in? After all, we are not going to be perfected in this lifetime, regardless how close we walk with Christ. Are we to believe that once we leave this life that our growing in Christ ends? I doubt that any Christian believes that. So if we are not going to come anywhere close to perfection in this lifetime, why should I believe the BS that all these trials are "preparing us" for the life to come? What's the difference whether you move 1 km or 100, when you have to travel 10,000? They might bring you closer to God but they can just as well drive you further away from Him.

I am sometimes bitter, but not always. He may have forgiven me my sins but if some judged pardoned a prisoner but hounded him for the rest of his life, I am sure the prisoner would have wished he had stayed in prison. That is how I feel sometimes. I have come to realize that the God we think we know is only what we made Him out to be.

He exists and has a character about Him but I seriously doubt that any man really knows what He truly is like and why He does what to many of us often seems incredibly cruel. Where you see this in all truth has to do with Job and his children. Job loved his children and was always afraid that maybe one day his kids would curse God. So Job offered up sacrifices to atone for his children and we have no reason to not believe that God did not accept them. But in spite of all those prayers and sacrifices and Job hoping that God would spare his children from some tragic death, God did exactly that. It may have come from the hands of Satan but ultimately the lives of those children were in God's hands and God did allow them ALL to die. In essence, Job's prayers could almost be thought of as in vain. What's the point of praying for your children when God won't be there to save them from the horrible tragedy that took place. God could have let some of them die and spared one but He didn't. I can only think of what went through Job's mind as he sat there on the ground and was shattered to the root of his soul: Where was God when for 20 or more years I poured out my prayers for those children. Not even one did He spare. Not even one.

A large family who lived in that sect in Israel was also expelled and were required to return to their homeland. About a year later a fire broke out in their home in the middle of the night. Their 4 youngest boys died in that fire. I don't blame God for these things. If anything, it only makes us really begin to realize that God is not what we have imagined Him to be.

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About
Laurie is co-founder of Russell Media. She's lived in several countries and writes on what it means to unleash faith from the trappings of church and secular culture.


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