Do you ever feel God blesses everyone but you? You pray for the job promotion but it’s given to a co-worker. Your dream school sends you a letter politely telling you to go away but your best friend is immediately accepted into hers. It feels as if your dreams are on the verge of being fulfilled but are instantly yanked away, sending your emotions on a wild rollercoaster ride.
While in my twenties, I lived in Atlanta and was a dancer – a hip-hop dancer. Most people laugh when they hear this but I was a white girl who had a few moves and I dreamed of using dance as a way of reaching the inner-city youth.
I prayed, fasted and trained but I only met closed doors that were bolted shut. Every so often there were doors that were “cracked” open but never enough to lead me anywhere. I wondered why God refused to bless my dream when I was doing it for Him? Why did He tease me with the times of “almost” making it?
Unfortunately this was not a one-time thing. Many events in my life appeared as if God was about to bless me but changed His mind at the last moment – playing a cruel joke on me. However, now that I have more years behind me, I look back and I see that these times of struggle actually had purpose.
1. I wasn’t ready. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a time for everything and sometimes that means waiting. Looking back I see that I wasn’t mature enough emotionally and spiritually to handle my dream. I wouldn’t have represented Christ properly and possibly would have burned-out.
2. I was too far ahead of God. Isaiah 30:21 tells us we have a voice that tells us which way to turn. I was so far ahead of the Voice that I didn’t hear it. God had touse the closed doors to slow me down to His timing. Once I did, I heard Him leading me to overseas missions – where He redirected my ministry passion (and I met my future husband – totally worth it I must say)
3. We bonded in the trenches. Soldiers bond in war. Missionaries become family in the field. I believe the same is true with God. In times of trial I’m knocked down on my knees and God hovers over me, with me, that bonds me to Him like nothing else. He helps me develop perseverance that strengthens my character and dependency on Him. If life were perfect – I’d miss that time in the trenches with Him – where I see Him most.
There are still times when I wonder why He delays in His answers - I’m an impatient one who has a hard time staying still. But I try to remind myself that it’s not that God is refusing to bless me – it was quite the opposite. He is leading me to the correct spot where I can receive it in the right time. And now that I’ve seen what He gives in the trenches, I don’t want to miss out on it –there is nothing like it.
Do you ever feel overlooked by God?
What has He taught you in the times He had you wait?