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It has been a long, wet week in Southern California. Rain is to L.A. what snow is to Seattle: Life stops, people stay home, others forget how to drive, and even more of us gather at the windows to watch it fall. It's pretty funny when I stop to think about it. In addition to the weather, my husband was traveling for work on the other side of the world (literally), the supreme court made a decision that my PMS decided to take all of my vengeance out on, and Focus on the Family is running a superbowl ad. Jesus, please come soon... After I read about Focus on the Family, I put a link on my facebook. I wrote, "Seriously Focus on the Family? You couldn't find another use for 3 million dollars?????" Which spurred on 30-something long comment chain on my wall. Unbeknownst to me, a college friend of mine's dad works in the marketing department at Focus on the Family and she had him write to me to set the record straight. Fine. It's not their money. Donors gave them the money to put an ad in the superbowl. I still don't think that's a good reason, but I'm waving my flag. I retreat. In other news, the supreme court I came home last night and cried. I'm tired, I miss my husband, and I'm not sure what is going on in the world. People are hell bent on winning and nothing more. So I lose. This is not a world for the little guy or girl. If you have the most money you win, plain and simple. So I prayed. Outloud. The kind intermingled with tears and snot. In the end I chose to pick my battles. The battle I went back to was last week's Bachelor episode. Yes, I am watching it again and as infuriated as ever. But this is what confirms the battle I want to fight. When a 32-year-old homemaker was "let go" she said, "Things in my life don't work out, so why should this surprise me?" Heartbreaking. And she bursts into tears. I wanted to reach through the TV and say, "Thank god it didn't work out! You're going to be okay!" But she lives in a culture that tells her she has failed. She didn't win and now she must sulk back to the story that is her real life. There are so many unhappy, burnt out, frustrated women and it's only going to get worse unless somethings shifts in our thinking. Last week there was a study released that more than any other time in United States history, college students are more stressed out than ever. Even more than the Great Depression era. The highest instance of stress was a symptom called "hypomania." The reporter said that this is when there are unrealistic expectations set, and then extreme let-downs happen when those expectations are not met. I have been seeing this in myself and in the students I work with for years, but now this is happening everywhere. When I looked up hypomania to research for this post, this is what I found (from WebMD):
Ringing any bells? Sound like you or a twentysomething in your life? What I found astonishing is that this is a symptom of being bipolar. Don't hear me say if this is happening then you are bipolar. This means that you exhibit symptoms like a bipolar person, but you can still function like a normal person in society. I tried to get around this. I didn't want to say, "Oh goody, I'm working in a bipolar environment in my own mind and at work every day." I went to medical website after medical website, trying to find a definition of hypomania apart from bipolar... I couldn't find one. So this is my fight. A borderline bipolar nation of twentysomethings, soon to be thirtysomethings who want to marry the bachelor and save the world. I believe in these women more than that though. It's not a matter of marriage and world peace. It's a matter of finding peace in our own souls. I can't care about the supreme court decision or the Focus on the Family commercial because those are blips on the screen that too often occupy valuable space in my soul. There are plenty of people fired up about both of these things, so I'm moving on. As the sun shines this morning, I am full of hope that there is something more than Supreme Courts or Christian Orgs saving people from calamity. It might not mean avoiding crises on this earth, but it does mean that the Holy Spirit can save us from the calamity of our own depravity. The only way to do that is tell the truth of our own stories. So my truth today is that I'm learning to wave my white flag and let go of battles I don't want or need to take on. I'm learning that the battle I want to fight is not a battle, but a journey of walking with others and building relationships and villages. It's not one I'm going to "win." It's not a law, marketing campaign or a commercial break... it's life and we're slowly giving our lives away to bipolar frames of mind. These laws and campaigns, whether Christian or not, will not answer questions or solve the world's problems. We can only help each other one person at a time, and that is something that one cannot gauge in a Gallup Poll. It's a path that is going to have more heartbreak, reward, satisfaction, and joy than a win or lose could ever bring me because life isn't about winning and losing, it's about learning to live. I'm learning that the Holy Spirit is goodness inside of me even on days when I get my period or am sick.... and that is something worth a snotty cry, and something no one can take away from me. |
gave permission for companies to back political candidates. How quickly we forget how LONG the election of 2008 was, and with this little juncture, it will make elections the most annoying, biased campaigns EVER. But I'm waiving my white flag here too.
Comments
Kristin,
Hi. You just described about half the women I know who are in their mid-to-late twenties. If I'm really honest, I've been there too. We're living in this society that is so hung up on fairy tales and crazy expectations in life that we've created an entire generation of young people who feel like failures. The future can be so grave when you're a college student or recent grad who faces so much debt in school loans that you can't see straight and have to live with mom and dad at 25, you have a degree you don't know to use or if you want to use at all, you're looking for a job in a jobless market and all you want to do is get married but that's scary when half the nation is divorced. And those are just the surface issues. Obviously these things and more will create a whirlwind of emotions and anxiety.
I like how you said we need to tell our stories. When I meet with some of my friends struggling with some of these issues I find it helps so much to just talk it out. I've also found that it helps to learn how to expect only the unexpected. To surrender, like you suggested with our white flags flapping in the wind. It seems that the best way to manage all the fears and feelings of failures we may be experiencing is to do our best to be in the moment and not worry so much about the future. I'm not saying that's easy by any means, but I do think that worship occurs when we are fully present in the minute we are in right now.
I appreciate your honesty in this post and think that it is evident that with your insight and compassion for today's twentysomething generation, you are in the perfect field. It makes me that much more excited to read your story when you get it written later this year! Thanks.
Thank you friend. These are good, deep, and needed conversations to be had -- so thank you for bringing them into this venue.
Thanks friend! Love it when you read the posts. Hope you're doing well.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment Carrie. You have such great insight into these topics too. I love reading your comments. I'm really trying to wrap my mind around living in the present - maybe there's a blog in that. It's so hard because everything in me wants to go forward or back, not stay put, but yet here is the only place I can be. Thanks so much again... hopefully one of these days we can meet in person.
glad i ran across this. thanks for the inspiration. miss you.
Oh Sara! Miss you too my dear. Glad to hear from you. Your welcome for the inspiration. I would love to hear from you!