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[This article orginally appeared on The Resurgence] He can be sweet, bitter, nostalgic, or cynical, but he cannot figure out how to be a man. - Hanna Rosin There has been significant attention in the media recently about changing roles between men and women; most notably in The Atlantic, Slate, and The New York Times (Interestingly each written by women). One of the major themes in this trend is the rise of two things: The Omega Male and women who don't need them. The entire article in The Atlantic is worth a read, but a few paragraphs are especially insightful: "As the traditional order has been upended, signs of the profound disruption have popped up in odd places. Japan is in a national panic over the rise of the “herbivores,” the cohort of young men who are rejecting the hard-drinking salaryman life of their fathers and are instead gardening, organizing dessert parties, acting cartoonishly feminine, and declining to have sex. The generational young-women counterparts are known in Japan as the “carnivores,” or sometimes the “hunters.” "American pop culture keeps producing endless variations on the omega male, who ranks even below the beta in the wolf pack. This often-unemployed, romantically challenged loser can show up as a perpetual adolescent (in Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up or The 40-Year-Old Virgin), or a charmless misanthrope (in Noah Baumbach’s Greenberg), or a happy couch potato (in a Bud Light commercial). He can be sweet, bitter, nostalgic, or cynical, but he cannot figure out how to be a man [Emphasis mine]. “We call each other ‘man,’” says Ben Stiller’s character in Greenberg, “but it’s a joke. It’s like imitating other people.” "At the same time, a new kind of alpha female has appeared, stirring up anxiety and, occasionally, fear. The cougar trope started out as a joke about desperate older women. Now it’s gone mainstream, even in Hollywood, home to the 50-something producer with a starlet on his arm. Susan Sarandon and Demi Moore have boy toys, and Aaron Johnson, the 19-year-old star of Kick-Ass, is a proud boy toy for a woman 24 years his senior. The New York Times columnist Gail Collins recently wrote that the cougar phenomenon is beginning to look like it’s not about desperate women at all but about “desperate young American men who are latching on to an older woman who’s a good earner.” Here's the thing; you might be this guy. You might know one, or ten, of these guys. The Omega Male is not a phenomenon; which is why we need to familiar with it and them. The Complications of RolesThis is clearly a loaded subject; packed with a slew of issues like the following:
The end result of all of it is wide-spread confusion over the roles of men and women, love and sex, relationship and friendship. The Omega Male and the ChurchWhat none of these articles have touched on is how this has invaded and effected the church. Like any other social entity, the church tends to overemphasize certain things to the detriment of others. Beneath the din of culture war issues like abortion and gay marriage, we have to ask if the church has been faithful in teaching young people about proper roles for men and women. In the large segments of the church that clumsily "embraced the arts" in the last 7 years, did they spend as much time teaching those same artists what the Bible teaches about what a man is, what a woman is, and how they should interact in friendships and relationships? The Omega Male and the gender role confusion associated with them are only recently being popularly analyzed and diagnosed, but by the time issues reach a popular level they are already ubiquitous. This would make it a good time for the church to ask how it can teach Omega Males to be men; to contend for the faith (Jude 3), to treat girls as sisters (1 Tim. 5:2), and to work hard like a farmer, sharing in suffering, competing by the rules like an athlete (2 Tim. 2:1-6)—all activities that Omegas aren't prone to do but about which the Bible is clear. For further thought-provoking commentary on men, women, & relationships, I strongly suggest this video. |

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Comments
I appreciate you bringing this topic up. The concept of delayed adolescence is something that Western culture and the church has lost sight of when we become issues driven instead of people driven.
What I'm struck by, and I know it's a matter of semantics, but the word "Omega," "Alpha," ect. is sticky territory when referring to humans and in a patriarchical system, leaves room for only males to lead, enforce, rule, farm, etc. What does the single woman do? (I also think these words should only be used in context of God)
I applaud the women, and yourself, who have written about this topic, because others are being strangely silent. (As are they about older men dating much younger women - Hugh Hefner for example if we're using pop culture icons -- and how that is acceptable) And there have been countless observations of women made by men for thousands of years, so it's fine for women to be talking about it. But "gender confusion" is a social construct. The Bible talks about the development of the person and the person we are supposed to look up to as both men and women -- is Jesus. Jesus calls us into our true selves within the example he embodied... not an ideal man or woman... an ideal human.
We cannot read the Bible and not take into consideration the cultural constructs of the time that the Bible was written and need to first and foremost discern with God and our own communities what our "calling" "will" "being" should be (as individuals in a community). When we read the Bible as written to ONLY an individual -- this was written for man -- this was written for woman -- we lose sight of the community that Jesus came to save. To say, and I'm not sure that you are, but to imply that "the role of a man [or woman]" is something that the church should teach, is something I do not see in the Bible - the Bible teaches us how to be humans, full of grace, truth, and love within communities. We should be teaching identity development and living into who we have been created to be and that is something that we see Jesus does, he spends time developing his followers as unique creations, not putting everyone in a box.
Also, it also points out something when you write about men and how they are to view "sisters" as "girls" - "girls," might have been unintentional, but I wonder why the writer did not choose "women"? This again is something to consider when teaching in the church and not seeing that Jesus speaks to women and men and that we are equal in the site of the Lord. We have to measure things with Jesus being God - incarnate and reconciling the old with the new. The Old Testament allowed for things like marrying multiple women, etc. and we don't hold to those things now... Jesus changed the social order. This is hard to do because it takes time... we don't want to take that time to walk with our communities, making blanket observations and teachings is much easier.
Caution is needed when we start to put people in boxes of "this is the way all men should be" whether that is from the culture OR the church, and that is my hesitation with spectrum thinking. My husband gardens and throws parties, and is no less a man...
Hi Kristen,
Thank you for reading and for your reply. It's long so I can't address everything in there but I can get down to what I think is the ground level. I think the Bible does teach that men and women were made equally but with different roles - complimentarianism. Because I believe the Bible teaches that, I also believe that we have ground to call Omega Males out of their confusion and apathy to the roles that God gave men (and women) to do.
Nick
Nick, it seems your response to Kristin's point is inadequate. It is much too simplistic to just say "I think the Bible does teach that men and womean were made equally but with different roles." You are in fact choosing which roles you prefer to fulfill, and not to fulfill, as a man. You can't choose one role you would prefer, and leave out others. Going by your logic, all men in the world should still be working in the fields not using any sort of machinery like it talks about in Genesis.
I do agree, like you, with the call of the Bible to bring us (men and women) into deeper knowledge and understanding of ourselves through the person of Jesus Christ, but Christ came to abolish divisions between male and female, Jew and Gentile, slave and free. That doesn't mean there are no distinctions between them, but certainly there is overlap. What is wrong with a woman serving our country as a marine, or a firefighter and a man serving as a nurse or, heaven-forbid, a stay-at-home-dad? I think the point Kristin is trying to make is that it is dangerous to completely separate male and female roles, especially if you are in a position of power and influence. This leaves no room for grace for someone struggling with their own identity.
Steve,
Thanks for reading and commenting. My previous response was short because, in all honesty, I was about to run out the door to take my wife on a date night.
I agree that Christ came to abolish divisions (after, of course, abolishing the division between sinners and a holy God) but not the distinctions in our roles stemming from Him making us male and female in the garden. There are some clear delineations in the roles for men and women in the Bible, similar to how a right hand and left hand are different but equal; and more powerfully, similar to how the members of the Trinity are equal but have different roles.
I agree that there are a lot of people struggling with their identity - hence the article on Omega Males - and that there is grace for them. But, like "struggling" and "grace" imply, there are some external standards that men, particularly in this article's case, should be called to.
Hope that is helpful.
Nick
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