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I grew up in a family where some of the older, extended females thought it was their duty to list everything that was wrong with me. My thighs were too fat. I’d be pretty if I’d get a nose job. I shouldn’t play sports because it’s not becoming of girls (but what about the fat thighs??!) I spoke too fast and was way to shy to ever do anything great. That hurts…a lot! I was a young child when I heard those words and I’m still insecure about all of these. It’s not only the words that were spoken, but the way they are delivered. I was a late bloomer - which I’m glad about now because it kept me from peaking in high school – but it was hell at the time. I didn’t care much about learning until later in life. One day when I was in the 3rd grade I got interested about a new math we were learning. In my excitement I began asking questions to the teacher as she explained it to us on the board. I was a little too eager and my questions were exasperating her (as a mom, I now understand). She turned to me and dramatically says, “Laurie, be quiet! I’m trying to show you how now.” Now what she said wasn’t wrong. I was being disruptive. However, her irritated delivery killed the spirit of learning in this shy little girl. I was embarrassed. I finally had the courage to ask questions out loud and now felt foolish in front of my friends. Jesus told the woman who’d made a lifetime of bad choices that she had done a beautiful thing by washing His feet. He encouraged the thief dying on the cross next to Him that he’d be with Him that day in Paradise. He called Peter, a.k.a. Vomit Mouth, the rock from which His church would be built. He calls us sinners - friends, brothers and sisters. Jesus’ words and delivery healed, encouraged, taught, loved and forgave. My family has been the recipient of some harshly delivered words lately and it hurts. It dampens my desire to work for the Lord – especially when it comes from within the church. I'm sure this is not what God wants. Jesus' words caused people to want to follow Him and love others. Shouldn’t our words have the same motivation and effect on others? There are a lot of hurtful words thrown around on the Internet these days – but they still hurt. We are all lost children, looking for our way Home. I can’t wait to see my heavenly Father but I don’t want to arrive crawling on my hands and knees due to wounds caused by “friendly fire.” Instead, I want to be able to run into His arms, full-force - because my fellow brother and sisters cheered me on. Let’s put down our weapons, get on our knees and pray for God to bless all of His children and leave it to God to work in the hearts of others. How do words affect you? How has God use His Word to heal you? |
Comments
Definite truth here, but there's also a flip side. Jesus said to Peter at one point, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" and there are many other situations in which He had harsh things to say to people, when it was appropriate. Reading the words of Scripture, or hearing a really good sermon, can cut us to the heart, when we realize the holiness of God, and His requirements of us. Those people who have gifts of discernment, wisdom, and prophecy may point out things to us we'd rather not hear, but we need to.
We also need to be willing to listen to criticism in general (such as from a boss), to see if any of it is valid so that we can learn from it. Then, we need to let the rest go and not focus on ourselves and our sensitive, hurt feelings, because these things happen in life and we can't let other people's loose tongues hold us back.
As with everything , there is a balance.
Everything we say must be truthful, but not EVERYTHING that is true, must be said.
Families often do not consider that their thoughts and opinions, or the delivery of such can be so detrimental. I'm sure that's true especially where children are concerned.
On the other hand, the enemy of our souls is ever present to take that which IS spoken and misconstrue content or interfere with the delivery. How it is received by the other party ( How we hear) is also a factor. The incoming message may be altered or truncated according to our filters of experience, lack of experience, lack of God's word, hurt,or fears and such.
As a foster kid...almost anything anyone said to me put me on guard and often made me feel less than best. It took the Holy Spirit a while to convince my heart that God loved me and that I was "Approved by God".
Both the article and the first comment are relevant.
I find that I am one of Life's cheerleaders. Often the Lord has me speak plainly to people and that can be construed as offense to some. Checking intent and motivation, along with leading from the Holy Spirit are vital. Our words must "build-up" and not tear down.
Confronting sin, of course, is a whole other matter.... People's reactions often have to do with " the Bible says judge-not". That is another subject, but since we CAN be fruit inspectors and can compare what we see with the Word, it is not really judgment.
Thank you for taking time to express your expediences along with the thoughtless actions and resonates of others, and how it affected you!
Hi -
Thank you for reading and sharing the above. You have some great insights. You are right, there is a flip side in how we are to use our words - a time to correct in love and/or reveal truth. Before I became a believer, my life was filled with many sinful lifestyles. I was lost and began attending a church where one of the teachers was going through Psalms. At times he clearly called out sins in the passages and defined the results of them. I needed this. At that time I was a floundering soul who was in need of boundaries. But he presentation was filled with love. He knew we were a classroom filled of crazy college students trying to find ours selves but he also knew that the enemy was trying to lure us away too. So he had to be clear and strong - yet he never attacked us personally or our character. He lovingly revealed what was preventing us from finding God's love and peace - our sin.
As someone who works in the publishing field, I know too well the need to have thick-skin. You can't survive in this industry without it. However, I do believe we must pay close attention to what we say, the audience and the delivery. No 10 year old girl needs to hear she has fat thighs. My grandmother's comments led many years of abusing my body with unhealthy weight-loss techniques. These words did nothing but damage my self-esteem.
Yes, Jesus did rebuke Peter but it wasn't his character or Peter himself - Jesus was addressing the sin and later sought Peter out and told him he would be the Rock from which He would build His church. The woman at the well - Jesus clearly called out her sin but only after spending time with her, offering her eternal life. I've been told that this is the longest recorded interaction that Jesus has 1-on-1 with anyone in the Bible - showing He invested time in a woman who may have been fragile from her background.
You are right, we can't allow other people's words keep us down - otherwise we'll never accomplish anything in life. But my main point here is that we are accountable for our own words. There will be times where God is asking us to clearly help another see the errors of their ways that will protect them from the consequences of sin. At times we may need to be direct and strong in our delivery. But every thing needs to be back with a loving spirit and heart that is wholly handed over to God.
Thanks again for sharing. Your words made me think on this deeper and it was fun interacting! Thanks for reading - I appreciate it!
Laurie
Hi Nekhr!
Your words brought tears to my eyes. As one who was a foster child, you probably do know too well the damage that words can have on one's soul. But God is faithful and He has obviously given you a life of wisdom and you appear to strong and confident, in spite of it. We are in great need of "life's cheerleaders" and I am grateful that God used your situation to prepare you for it.
You are so right in mentioning balance - balance is the key to life in everything and this includes our words. I like you point about not everything truthful necessarily needs to be said. God makes it clear when He wants us to share something - if it's not edifying to the other person, it's probably best to leave it unsaid unless God has truly burden us to do so.
Thank you again for your transparent sharing and insight. Your words were powerful! Thanks for reading and interacting!
Laurie
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