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Have you ever sent an email, text, or some other message you wished you could take back right after pushing “send”? A few months after college graduation I was getting my hair cut in Breckenridge, Colorado. The lady cutting my hair noticed I was reading The Gospel in a Pluralist Society by Leslie Newbigin. Figuring I might know a little about theology, she asked if I could explain why there was so much evil in the world. Since I had just taken a class on apologetics, I decided to tell her everything I knew about why God might allow evil. Every time she had a question, I had a quick retort. From my perspective the conversation was going great. But all of a sudden she started crying and said, “This is a bunch of &$%! You have an answer for everything. It can’t be that easy.” I was completely taken aback. This made me a bit nervous, especially since she was holding scissors next to my head! I've thought of this conversation many times and wished I could take back what I said. The problem was not what I said, but how I said it. As my college professors used to say, over 90% of communication is non-verbal. We communicate far more by our body posture and tone than with our words. Obviously, I was not communicating the grace and love that her question deserved. I cringe to think about how she views Christians because of her experience with me. I’ve often wondered why she asked me about the problem of evil in the first place. I assumed it was simply an intellectual question, but it very well could have been an emotional issue she personally had to deal with (I’ve found this is often the case when people ask about evil and suffering). Had she been abused as a child? Did she have some “Christian” friends who betrayed her? Was she experiencing a debilitating sickness? Who knows? In 1 Peter 3:15, Peter tells us to always have an answer for the hope within. As Christians, we do need to be ready to provide answers for tough questions such as the problem of evil. But Peter also tells us to present our case with gentleness and respect. If we have all the answers but lack love, our efforts are worthless (1 Corinthians 13). I’ve you’ve made mistakes in sharing your faith as I have, then learn from your mistakes and move on. There is a hurting and lost world that needs the love and truth of Jesus. |
Comments
Sean,
This is a powerful message. It seems that often those who connect with others emotionally, struggle to answer the intellectual questions and those who are very intellectual seem to miss the emotional side of the question. Knowledge, understanding, and the balance of the two are all important in the communication of the gospel. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for the encouragement, Pastor Jared!
Sean M
When the answers to certain life issues leave one cold, this is sometimes an indication that there's a problem with the actual content of the answer--and not just how it was communicated. Consider St. Paul's reply's in Romans 9:10-23, which are replies to what were probably FAQs to his teachings about grace and divine retribution. One gets the sense that Paul isn't really addressing (much less resolving) the basic concerns. This sense of dissatisfaction seems to track the fact that Paul's "answers" are actually more like dismissals of the concerns. Such dismissals contrast with the replies of a teacher who would first explore in greater depth the concerns at stake, and might be more willing to candidly concede the problematic nature of the so-called solutions, thereby at least doing justice to the questions.
Like Paul's quick replies in Romans 9, the facile answers of many of today's Christian apologists often reflect a failure to sincerely come to terms the difficulties of problems, such as the problems of evil and the instances thereof. What tempts the apologists to try satisfy themselves with such facile answers is in part their very eagerness to have answers ready at hand (as well as the very strong motivation to "keep the faith," bravely denying that there are any really problems with the content of their faith). But this usually results in a failure to sincerely face the genuine difficulties. It is this failure, on the part of the apparent "experts", that sometimes brings the sincere seeker of solutions to tears. It as if the leper, with desperate anticipation, brought his very real misery to Jesus, only to have Jesus offhandedly smile and advise: "Don't worry, be happy." I fear that the apologetics program at Biola is raising a generation of little "experts" that essentially imitate this style.
Your title and story got me thinking about how we learn stuff and what sticks and what doesn't. The hard work ethic was a tenant of my family life and molds a lot of what I say to my own children and students. And yet when I learn from the mis-steps of others, I find myself grateful to have found an "easier" way to get at the truth of life.
When I think about Jesus as my mentor, I'm reminded that he did it the hard way for me. Not only can I now read the old testament with new eyes and hear God's message with new ears, I can start from a place given to me through grace.
I truly value lessons learned the hard way, yet am grateful when I "stumble" upon a lesson which applies to my life as well. An answer is not always what is required. Sometimes we need to just be present and listening for a clue as to why we might be present in this persons life at this time.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.