According to Fox Sports News, in anticipation of 300,000 revelers in Dallas on Superbowl weekend, gentleman’s clubs in the area are facing a serious shortage of strippers. 

I’m outraged. Didn’t we learn our lesson from watching Johannesburg struggle to import enough prostitutes for the World Cup? That fiasco almost resulted in millions of lost revenue if it weren’t for the quick thinking of entrepreneurial madams across Africa. 

It’s been a tough week for Americans. On Monday I learned that China was beating us in math and science; now we learn that Texas gentlemen are getting shamed by third world pimps. The Lone Star State’s lack of business savvy is giving our country another black eye. 

The club owners should study carefully the response of the Red Cross last summer who, when faced with a blood shortage, took out a full page in the Washington Post begging for critical donations. The recruitment for new donors allowed some doctors to continue with surgeries that might have been postponed if not for the generosity of the public. In other shortfalls, aid organizations like World Vision are working against food shortages throughout the world. One organizer states, “People are still sharing the little food they were able to harvest last season. But this coping mechanism won’t last.” 

The prospects might be equally grim for Dallas. With so many needs in the local communities and abroad, it’s likely that some of the strip clubs might have to go without. Without intervention, this crisis will join the nursing, skilled labor, food, and health care shortages at home and around the world. Even worse is the possibility that patrons will decide to save their money and dignity, stay home with their loved ones to watch the game, or even seek their consciences on higher ground. With fewer lap dancers to go around, some Texas suburbs might be left with little choice but to attend church services and family events next weekend. There’s only a week left. Will good Americans respond to the crisis? Do strip clubs have a prayer? 

I guess it’s up to us.