What if there were an explosion of kindness in the world? What if, suddenly, everyone in my neighborhood was infused by an urge to be kind? People would be more considerate - they would park in such a way that they took up only one spot in front of my house, and not two. They would see someone carrying bags of groceries from their trunk to their house and offer to help. They would mow their lawn, and while they were at it, mow the single mom's lawn across the street. They would smile at one another and say hello as they were coming and going. It would be like Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood, and I would love it.

The atmosphere in the grocery stores on Saturdays would experience a profound climate shift. Cashiers would be smiling, looking their customers in the eyes and greeting them, and they would be encouraged to do so because customers would be patient and thoughtful as they went through the lines. When something that was "supposed" to be on sale rang in at full price, customers would say, gently and with a genuine smile, "Would you mind looking into that item? I think it was marked on sale. Perhaps if you re-swiped my customer card?" And the cashier might say, "Sure! Let me check into it. Oh I'm terribly sorry, but that sale ended yesterday. But ____ is on sale now - would you like to get that instead?" Mothers would not smack their kids for asking for candy. Men would not berate their wives for buying fattening snack foods. It would be... heavenly.

What if there were an explosion of kindness in Afghanistan? What if, when some Taliban guy were about to blow himself up in a crowded bazaar, he were to stop and think to himself, "Do I really want to do something so terribly unkind?" What if - I'm just fantasizing here, so give me a break - what if the leaders of all the various sects in Afghanistan were to sit down and begin to consider one another? They would speak peace to each other, they would ask one another what they needed, and offer to help find solutions. What if these warring tribes were to stop and consider one another's humanity and to care about it? 

I'm studying kindness right now. Through several steps of God's providence in my life, I'm reading a book called "The Law of Kindness," by Mary Beeke. It has been on my shelf for over a year, since I received it in a swag bag from a conference I went to last year. Of all the books I might look for or buy, a book on kindness would not be one. It's not sexy at all. In fact, my bent is more along the lines of books that teach you how to be influential or powerful, or how to become a more organized person, better speaker, etc. Which is exactly why I need this book, right now.

Unkindness is starting to really tick me off. I don't know if I'm just more sensitive to it right now, but the more I think of kindness, and its affects on the world, the more agitated I am when I see unkindness. Whether it is someone being inconsiderate, or someone being outright rude, I'm noticing it more than I usually do. But here's the rub: whenever I witness someone being really unkind, and I get mad at them, I realize pretty quickly that I'm just like them. Oh sure, I might not physically push people out of my way getting off the Staten Island Ferry, but I want to! I might not behave as though the world revolves around me all the time, but in my heart, I want it to!

So my study of kindness is primarily for myself. I want to be a kinder person, because...

"The deepest motive of kindness stems from humility and gratitude to God for His wonderful gift of salvation." (The Law of Kindness, page 16). The root cause of unkindess, I think, is a sense of being greater than others. My needs, my wants, my desires matter more, so I don't need to be kind or considerate of others, and since I matter more than you, I can step on you to get whatever I want - or, I can at least want to step on you, even if I don't actually do it (out of a well-honed sense of social propriety). 

Why should I be kind to others? Because there is encouragement in Christ.

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Phil 2:1-1, ESV)

Kindness is contagious. One bad apple might ruin the whole bushel, but when a candle is lit in a dark room, the darkness is overwhelmed. I have seen many times when an act of kindness - especially in the heat of a moment when it could go either way - changes everything.

Isn't that what we love to see in movies? I'm thinking of that scene in The Karate Kid, when Miyagi is about to smash a guys nose into his face. He is above him, head firmly locked, hand poised for the death chop, and what does he do? Pulls his nose and says, "Honk." We all breathed a sign of relief. That is a much better choice than destroying the guy, even if he did deserve it! Then what happens? Miyagi's choice is contagious; when Daniel, his protoge, is in exactly the same position, with the upper hand, he does exactly the same thing. And we love it. We LOVE that he chose kindness.

Just as evil can influence others, so can kindness. 

So I'm looking to start a Kindness Revolution. Not "out there," but rather "in here," as in, right here in my own life. In my home, in my work, in my interactions with people. "A truly kind person," says Beeke, "shows kindness habitually, in addition to performing purposeful acts of kindness." That sounds about right, so I'm trying to do both. Kindness, she says, "should color most of what we do. Like drops of food coloring in a glass of water, our actions must be tinted with kindness."

So for me, it presently looks something like this.

In everyday interactions, I will try to exude kindness. I am planning to go to the grocery store, hardware store, library and book store today. One of the librarians at my neighborhood library is particularly unkind and never goes a milimeter beyond what she has to do, by duty, to help a person. In the past, I have scowled at her, but if she is there today, I will smile. I will say thank you. I will not be rude, and I hope she will notice how good it feels to not tick off her patrons. I will also go beyond normal transactions with my other shopping, and try to look for ways to seem kind - a smile, a kind word, an expression of gratitude.

When a particularly kind idea comes to mind, I will act on it. Examples from the past of this kind of thing are writing a card to someone to encourage her, baking cookies, calling a friend and asking if her young child can come hang out with me so she can have an afternoon off, etc. Acts of kindness, big and small, sometimes come to mind, and I don't always act on them. I want to do better at that.

I will ask God to show me specific ways to show kindness. I did that recently, and an elderly Russian neighbor lady came to mind. I called her and invited her to meet me at the park the next day, and we ad a lovely visit, despite a severe language gap. She is very lonely, and it was a beautiful time together. Last night I made a list of a few friends I know are struggling right now. I plan to call them today. There is a building project going on at my church right now, and while I can't be there to help much, because of work, I can bake cookies and express my sincere gratitude for the volunteers' hard work.

"Kindness results when we care about others, when we have empathy for them, when our desire is that their needs be met, when their pain becomes our pain and their burden ours, when we put our feelings into actions by shouldering part of their load, and when their happiness is promoted by our behavior." (Beeke, p. 19).

Kindness requires that I lay down my sense of entitlement, but not my sense of reason. Kindness does not mean that I let people walk all over me or stand idly by while someone mistreats me or someone else. One can be reasonable and confrontational and still be kind. I have seen it, and it is a wonderful thing to behold.

Kindness is not a reflection of weakness. Kindness often requires more strength than its opposite, because unkindness comes naturally, as a part of the sinful-nature package. Kindness takes work, intention, thought, and often an overcoming of our own wills. 

So, with God's help, I'm going to give it a go. I'll keep you posted. And if you have any thoughts on how to become a kinder person, I'm all ears.