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 So, I grew up in a home where you got new things under these circumstances:1. the old thing is necessary, broken and unfixable (my dad is sort of like MacGyver and would take a broken item and tinker around in the garage for a bit and return with it "fixed". It may be held together by bright blue electrical tape, chewing gum and a twisted paper clip for good measure, but it would probably be able to function). 2. it is your birthday ("Happy Birthday, here is your GIFT!") 3. it is Christmas ("Merry Christmas, here is your GIFT!") 4. you really need this item and we cannot borrow it from anyone else I am sure that much of the frugality in my home was due to the fact that money was tight. There were plenty of things that I know my parents wanted to be able to give to us, but living on a pastor's salary from a small church meant that they just couldn't. But, I do think that in addition to that, there was just a mind set that was very different than the mind set of our generation. I feel like we are the generation that is not hesitant to purchase new things. It seems like we do not really have a firm line drawn between "things we need" and "things we want". I am absolutely including myself in this category! This is something that I am learning about myself in a big way. I find that often if I see something that I want, then that is something that I need. It seems like in generations past, people would purchase new appliances because the old ones were no longer working. In our modern day, it is not odd to get new appliances because there is a new version that has a different configuration of deli drawers on the inside, or because the "stainless" look is out and "black" is back in. -Once again, as an avid admirer of all things to do with design, I am learning this about myself too! As a mother, I am beginning to wonder how this impacts my kids and how the way I live is shaping their views on materialism and consumption. Here are some recent happenings that have all made me stop in my tracks and say, "hmmmm":
-Have I modeled this?...Get a newer cell phone, but give the old one away. Get new appliances, but give the old ones away. Get a new shirt at Target because the old one is not as cute, but, yes, I will certainly give the old one away. It feels so much less indulgent when I can justify my new purchases with giving the old ones away to people who really need them. hmmm... I am thinking a lot about all of this lately. I am thinking that my kids are not as thankful for their things as they should be. I am seeing that there is a "cost" to every thing that we purchase. There is the cost (on our environment) of the fuel it uses to make it, ship it, and house it on the shelves at Target. Even if it is in the dollar bin, there is still a cost attached to it. What concerns me most is that the greatest cost is probably how it shapes my children's world view and how these little things ... little purchases, little moments of giving in, little seasons of splurging in our home ... well, they all add up to be quite big. What I know to be true is that we are not our stuff. Our worth and identity is not equal to what we wear (or, who we wear), the kind of car we drive, or where we live. Stuff is not bad. I am so thankful that we have the things we have, and I think being aware and thankful is a big piece to healthy living in this area. But, I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that they are entitled to everything they see and thinking that this is what makes us happy. We are all are worth more than that.  I stumbled on this website the other day and it humbled me even further - www.kiva.org. It was developed by a husband and wife who are pairing up people all over the world who really NEED help with those of us who are privileged to be able to help. They have oodles and oodles of individuals ("entrepreneurs") posted on their site who are asking for micro-loans (small loans in the amount of your choice, from $25 on up) that help them launch their own businesses in order to sustain themselves and their families. So, the $25 that I could easily spend in non-essential purchases over a week (a coffee here or there, a new shirt at Target, 3 small items from the Dollar Spot), could actually help Marlene from Ecuador [that is Marlene in the photo, in front of her welding shop] purchase the materials she needs to expand her welding shop. We loan money, they use the money and pay it back over a set amount of time. I have been going on this site and just scrolling down the page and really looking at the faces of people in need. It is really, really humbling. But, it also propels me just a bit further towards this investigation and awareness into how we spend our money. I hope to share this site with my kids when the "teachable moment" is just right. I love the following quote: The essence of discovery is not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust I am praying for new eyes. -ali |
Comments
Well said, Mamas! What you are describing is so common to families across America, but it didn't used to be this way. Perhaps one of the benefits of the economic downturn we are now experiencing is that some of those old fashioned values of frugality and self-denial will return. And maybe we will all focus on those places where frugality and self-denial are not just a way of life, but an absolute necessity. I agree...Kiva is a wonderful organization. Micro finance can be a very effective way to help people while letting them retain their dignity.
This is just terrific. As a suburban mother and a lover of good design, I relate all too well to your illustrations of want v. need. Frugality is not something that comes naturally; it is either is forced upon us through circumstances, or better yet--it is a deliberate action prompted by the nudge of the Holy Spirit who says "Where is your heart?"
Keep on writing. I enjoy your posts every time.