Lately, I have been fighting what feels like a losing battle.  I am a parent of an 8 year old with a learning disability that effects her social, emotional and academic development.  That's the technical way of saying that life with my little girl is often very, very difficult.

From the moment she wakes up in the morning, until she goes to bed in the evening, much of my day is spent trying to organize my daughters life so that she doesn't become completely overwhelmed.   At this point in her development, she lacks the capacity to do that for herself.  Even the smallest frustration can set my child into a tailspin that will take her hours to recover from, and cause division and pain between the members of our family.   My husband and I are constantly trying to tailor our parenting approach to best suit both of our childrens needs and create the most healthy environment possible for each member of the family.  Some days, it seems like it might be easier to turn water into wine. 

I've struggled a great deal over the past 8 years as I've watched my daughter develop into the child she's become.   I had great visions and dreams of who she would be when I first held her in my arms.  Very few of these have come to pass.  I have spent a lot of my my time as her mother agonizing over the mistakes I've made along the way-- did I wait too long to get her the help she needed?  Are there other methods or practices out there that I haven't explored that would suit her better?  I feel as though I've spent eight long years searching for the keys that will unlock the mysteries of my daughters heart and mind.  And much to my chagrin, I'm no closer to finding them today than I was when I first held her in my arms.

Lately, though, I've been entertaining the thought that perhaps she is not my puzzle to solve.  The God who created her knows the number of hairs on her head.   He formed her in my womb and He knew each of the challenges that she would face long before I did   He is not surprised by her disabilites, shocked by her behavior, frustrated by her unresponsiveness.   He knows how to reach her heart and I am confident that He will.  He loves her ever so much more than I ever could.  And he will not let her go.  He has engraved her on the palm of His hand.