It’s nearing mother’s day again. Thank you network television for reminding me during Wheel of Fortune (yes, in my apartment four college age men gather at 7:30 in a nightly ritual thought only to be practiced by senior citizens). After I snapped out of the “Oh crap, I missed it” panic, I quickly headed to the nearest CVS (open 24 hours) to find a card I could send to my mother 3,000 miles away.

Upon entering the pearly automatic gates of CVS, I made my way to the Mother’s Day section of the greeting card isle. This turned out to be a huge disappointment. Tell me greeting card people, not all of you, just the ones in charge of mother’s day: Do you think the majority of the male population just might want to send their mother a card a color other than pink???

Seriously. Every card! "Mother From Son": Pink. "Grandmother From Grandkids": Pink. "Mother From Family Dog (no joke...this is a whole other blog): Pink.

When did the Holiday Justice League get together and decide to give Mother’s Day all of Valentines Day’s colors? I can see the conversation now:

Santa Clause (chief moderator: come on, we know his holiday is the biggest): Cupid, we’re letting you go. There’s been a shortage of feminine pastel colors this year and we’re going to have to downsize.

Cupid: Oh and I suppose we’re just going to overlook Easter’s monopoly of purple, yellow, and light green over the past decade? It’s gotten a little ridiculous.

Easter Bunny: Woah, Woah, Woah. Yellow is gender-neutral.

Santa Clause: Sorry kid. We’re giving pink to Mother’s Day. You can turn your arrows and bow to HR. Leave the chocolates.

Anyway, other than this letdown, I genuinely love CVS and always have. I don’t know any other chain in this great country, selling a ridiculous variety of things 24 hours a day. Across from the card isle I stumbled upon a collection of discount figurines representing some of our culture’s most prominent superstars:

Please comment by filling in a quote for this picture. What an amazing culture we live in where you can go to bed peacefully knowing that for $9.99 each you can have your choice of either Mother Theresa, Jesus, or the King watching over you by your bedside.