That's a good question, especially where you said that sometimes prayers "appear" to be unanswered.

I was taught that God always answers the prayers of His children, but that he answers them in His own way and in His own time. The answer we want and the answer He gives are not always one in the same.

I don't think that the fact that God does not always answer prayers the way we want Him to diminishes the role of prayer. For one, prayer is a gift from God - not only are we permitted to approach the throne of God and speak to Him, give thanks to Him, and much more, but He hears our prayers! And he does always answer them. Prayer is a blessing to God from us. And pertaining to your question, he also gives us prayer that we might ask Him for comfort, support, forgiveness, strength, etc.

It can be hard to get the ear of your elected officials. It's not always easy to have a word even with your alderman, much less your mayor, governor, or even the president. The higher up you go, the less likely it is that you can even have five words with the president. And if you do write a letter or send an email to the White House, chances are the president won't read it. But then there is God, the highest authority in the universe. By our thinking, He would be the hardest to get a hold of. And yet He has given us prayer - we have His promise that he will not only hear our prayers, but that He will respond. Isn't that amazing?

When we ask this of God in prayer, it is good for us to be mindful of the line "Your will be done" from The Lord's Prayer, the prayer Jesus taught us to pray. As Christians, we have to remember that God is not a magical genie in a bottle who grants us whatever we wish - he's not a divine grandpa who spoils his children rotten.

But also, what about the times when God doesn't answer prayer our way and we were genuinely praying for something good? Maybe a friend is diagnosed with cancer, we pray that she would be healed, and yet she still dies. We weren't treating God like a genie or a heavenly grandfather, we asked Him to bless our dear friend who was sick. It's not easy to accept that God's ways are not our ways. It's not easy to understand that God knows what He is doing - He's all-knowing and we are not.

But yet this is even a blessing - the all-knowing Almighty God loves us. He cares for us. And He knows all about pain and suffering - Christ experienced suffering, anguish, pain, and death. The Father knows the anguish of sending his Son into the world knowing that all this would happen, yet He did it anyway. He did it for us, He did it because He loves us. When God doesn't seem to answer prayer, or when He says "no" when we wanted "yes," we can still take comfort in a God who shares in our grief, sorrow, and pain.

I hope that the way God answers prayer does not diminish this gift that He has given us. If anything, I would hope that it strengthens the place of prayer in the life of the Christian.

Sometimes we treat God and prayer like a magic grab bag we can reach into for free stuff. Prayer is not a magical incantation. It is a conversation with our father.

I am a dad with young children. Sometimes they ask me for things I know won't be good for them. Sometimes we take them to the dentist, or to get shots. Sometimes they ask if they can abandon their chores. Sometimes, in order to help them learn and to grow, I give them tasks I know will stretch them. Sometimes I say "no" to one child because I know saying "yes" to this child would cause problems for another of my children. Sometimes I ask them to trust me because they can't see or understand things that I can see or understand better than they will at least for years to come.

Our relationship with God is a little like that, except that unlike me, God is a perfect father with unlimited knowledge and truly unbounded love. God hears each of our prayers. He does not always give us what we ask. He has all of eternity in view. He has all of his plans for us and for the people around us in mind. He listens to our prayers, he loves us unfailingly, and in light of that he gives us what is best.

Sometimes I let my children down. God never does. God is absolutely trustworthy. He is not, however, a magic grab bag we can reach into for free stuff.