Mama Manifesto

Micro-Enterprise at it's best: an opportunity

Mama Manifesto — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:56:02 -0800

We LOVE tangible missions. So we are really excited to be able to host an online sale for an amazing group of women in Haiti. Heartline Haiti is a mission that runs a Sewing Program to provide women a means to support themselves. These purses have been handmade by women in the program located in Port-Au-Prince, Haiti. They are made by hand of recycled fabric and burlap sugar sacks. Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere, and poverty, famine, disease, and hurricanes have made it very difficult for the people there. This is a great opportunity to buy a cute, handmade bag that will help support a local woman living and working in Haiti. This is a real way to bring change to the nation of Haiti; one woman and one bag at a time. You are taking a personal interest in her and her life. These ladies are buying their own sewing machines, paying for their children to go to school and buying stoves with money still in their business accounts. It's a great example of the Chinese proverb: give a man a fish, he eats for a day; teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. We love the micro-enterprise ideals that this mission is pursuing, and we are thrilled to be a part of providing an income for hard-working women in a difficult situation. I've had the opportunity to visit the sewing school in action, and it is such a great example of a micro-enterprise that is empowering and encouraging self-reliance.

To purchase a bag, please visit our Esty shop. If you can't buy a bag but you like the idea, help spread the word. Link this website to your blog, forward an email to friends, and post on your facebook account. We're excited about this impact this can have on a community in Haiti.

BLACK DOLLS: Special order only

Mama Manifesto — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:56:18 -0800

Some days, I think we are living in a new era, in a world that doesn't see color, in a world more and more like the one Martin Luther King dreamt about.

And some days, I remember that we're not.

There were a myriad of reminders about this for me today, most of which I can't really disclose on my blog. Let me just say this: in therapy, the filter comes off. And some people say stuff to me having no idea that I have an African American son. (or that I would be completely offended even if I didn't). It's all cool until one of them wants to date your daughter. Nuff said.

Even though it's complete ignorance, that stuff sinks my heart a little.

After work I made a Target run, because I wanted to grab a few stocking stuffers for the kids. I thought it would be cute to get them some High School Musical dolls that they could play with on our plane ride.

One of the things I LOVE LOVE LOVE about High School Musical is the racial diversity of the cast. So it was a little surprising to find that Target was only carrying dolls of the white members of the cast. Where was Chad? Where was Taylor? Not at my local Target. There were at least 20 versions of Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay, her brother, and the random White girl who plays piano. Rows and rows of these kids, but no representation of the African American cast members.

AVAILABLE ONLINE ONLY

Now, it would tempting, and maybe even reassuring, to think that a bunch of race-conscious parents had swept up the minority dolls already. But given the fact that there are very few African Americans living in Orange County, somehow I doubt that.

Which leads me to conclude that Target just didn't order them, because they figured they wouldn't sell. The same way last time I visited Pottery Barn at South Coast Plaza, the blonde-haired Harrington Family (Caucasian) was full-price and almost sold old, while the nearly idenitical but ethnic Thompson Family was drastically on clearance. Hmmm . . .

So this Christmas, I ask you: Are there dolls under your tree? Are any of them representing a minority race? What message does it send to our children when minority dolls are cast aside, or not even available at the store? Or when parents show racial preference in their toy selection? Something to think about as we all strive to move towards racial acceptance.

The Amazing Generosity of Starbucks

Mama Manifesto — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 22:54:57 -0800

I'm all for companies giving back. In fact, I wrote about a whole list of great companies who are making a difference in the world. I was excited to hear that Starbucks would be giving back this year, too.

I headed down to my local coffee conglomerate and ordered one of the new (RED) drinks, and found a curious little economic equation. The (RED) latte costs $3.40. A regular flavored-shot latte costs $3.00. So . . . just to be clear. If I pay an extra 40 cents for a special latte, Starbucks will give 5 cents of it to (RED). Wow. What a sacrifice on their behalf. And then I'm supposed to leave the store feeling self-righteous for spending a ridiculous amount of money on coffee, of which 1% is donated.

This charitable act doesn’t appear to require one ounce of sacrifice on Starbuck's behalf, and ultimately makes me question whether it's really about giving, or just a marketing ploy to make people feel like they are "doing their part" by buying an overpriced drink. And then when a mere 5 cents is all that is donated in my name, after spending that much money on a drink I don't really need, I have to look at how generous I'm really willing to be. I have this visual of myself walking down a village road in Africa, drinking a Peppermint latte and throwing 5 cents towards a hungry child as a gesture of my genorosity. Ouch.

So I propose we skip spending that money at Starbucks and just giving it all directly to (RED). Let's make our own gingerbread lattes. Or just forego them altogether.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the (RED) project is great. I am excited that Starbucks, Gap, Converse, and countless other corporations are working together to create a growing excitement about giving in general. If charity is becoming hip, I'm all for that. I just want to be careful to differentiate between actual charity, and marketing schemes or fad philanthropic gestures. I'm not so sure about this Starbucks one.

Is Gay The New Black?

Mama Manifesto — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 00:02:54 -0800

Who's ready to be called a biggot?

That seems to be a growing sentiment towards people who aren't supporting gay marriage. Obama's choice of Rick Warren to deliver the prayer at his inaguration has now given some gay and lesbian supporters a common enemy, and the uproar is loud. It's a move that could be seen as a unifying nod to the Christian community, and yet the result seems to be further division. People are outraged that Obama would choose someone who opposed Prop 8 to pray for the evening, and that this choice is "legitimizing bigotry". My husband and I turned on the tv last night and were shocked at the arguments against this popular pastor, and then further dismayed that this character assassination is really going to affect all of us who are not proponents of gay marriage. What struck me most, though, is the growing implication that anyone not wanting equal rights for homosexuals is on par with the racist extremists of the 1960's. Apparently, Prop 8 is the new Jim Crow.

As I've watched the news and browsed political blogs today, people are feeling an incredible freedom to cast Warren as a fear-mongering biggot. He's being called devisive, dehumanizing, lacking in human decency, and ignorant. In the midst of all the mud-slinging, I am reminded that regardless of what I'm seeing in the media, the voting shows that the majority of American are not in support of gay marriage, which Rick Warren is being skewered for. Sure, I cringe a little at some of Rick's analogies, but at the end of the day, he seems to be taking a beating for holding fast to Christian values. I have to admit, my gut-level response is to feel very defensive at the racist comparisons. It makes me wonder how this will play out over the coming decade, and what the best response is to those who judge the evangelical majority as "the new racists". I'm still processing that one.

How do you respond?

{Kristen}

A Gift and a Challenge for Christmas

Mama Manifesto — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 12:29:03 -0800

I woke up to a gift in my email inbox this morning - some amazing new photos of my son in Haiti. My blogger-friend Jamie Ivey and her hubby are in Haiti visiting their own kids who are waiting to come home, and they took some amazing shots of our little boy. It is such a treat to see pictures of him and hear reports of how happy he is. It makes the waiting so much easier.

Jamie's husband Aaron wrote some pretty profound sentiments on his blog today. He was musing about how kids are kids, no matter where they grow up. Click here to read it - adoptive parent or not, I think you will be moved. But perhaps grab a tissue first.

He also reflected on feelings about the coming Christmas season as he witnessed the poverty of Haiti. I think these words are so important for us to reflect on right now:

You want to know what really pisses me off? being unable to convince people to even think about something like Advent Conspiracy… and hearing friend after friend say they’ve had the hardest time getting their own families to want to sacrifice gift-giving this Christmas so that others can simply have clean water and/or bread in their belly. i was furious today as i saw nine year old kids working in the street to get a few pennies…hopefully adding up to purchase bread or a cup of rice. really? we want to hold on to our $15 gift exchange this Christmas instead of pooling that money together to actually KEEP SOMEONE ALIVE? seriously SO angry today as i passed children with swarms of flies around their face holding out hands for anything. KIDS. and families all over the country refuse to say NO to trading Old Navy giftcards, discount scarves at Target, and I-tunes gift cards. seriously? in Haiti, that is translated to “merde.”

I'm not gonna translate that word for you, but I think you get the point. How can we respond to this poverty that seems so far away, and yet is so real for so many people? I am feeling challenged today.

Gifts That Give Back

Mama Manifesto — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 13:44:36 -0800

In a season marked by giving, we love the idea of giving back to our community and our planet. This year, my family was influenced by the Advent Conspiracy challenge and decided to forego gifts for the adults, and give donations in each person's name instead. It's been so fun thinking of each family member and finding ways to honor each of them with a unique donation. We wanted to provide you with a list of ways you can do your Christmas shopping and give back at the same time.

Punjammies - Punjammies are adorable sari-inspired pajamas. Each Punjammi is created in an after-care facility for women who have been rescued, released or escaped from a life of forced prostitution. Holistic aftercare involves quality medical care, emotional safety, education and the tools to create a new way of life for herself.

Tiny Rockstar - Looking for a cute top for your tot? Tiny Rockstar has two missions: 1) making cool shirts for kids, and 2) ending the phenomenon of orphans living in extreme poverty. Their first step is to fund a "Care Point" run by Children's Hopechest in Swaziland, Africa. For every shirt you buy, Tiny Rockstar will donate enough to feed an orphan for a whole month. We think that rocks.

The Hunger Site - If you go under Gifts that Give More on the sidebar, there are a lot of interesting things you can purchase in someone else’s name - things as different as a child’s education for a year or a microloan for a pig or goat.

Vintage Momma Designs - We've featured this fabulous jewelry as a giveaway (and may have a few more up our sleeves). This inspired mama makes this jewelry and some of her profits go to help a clinic in Haiti and the Susan G. Komen Breat Cancer Fund. Check out her Etsy store as well!

Light Gives Heat sells necklaces and shirts that support a village in Uganda. Each piece is hand-made by a women in Uganda, providing them with a consistent income.

Rocks in the Sun is a gorgeous photography book filled with Haitian proverbs and photos of this beautiful but impoverished country. It's compiled by Troy Livesay, who lives in Haiti and does great mission work there (and just happens to be a stellar photog). This would make a great coffee table book, and the proceeds go towards their missions work with Heartline Haiti and Worldwide Village.

Tom's Shoes is giving a pair of shoes to a child in need for EVERY SHOE PURCHASED. And their shoes are cute! Really cute!

Real Hope for Haiti - Sponsor a child in Haiti for a year through Real Hope for Haiti. For $200 you could send a child in Haiti to school for the entire school year. That's right - for the cost of a new outfit, you can give a child the gift of an education.

World Vision has an amazing gift catalog where you can buy a number of innovative and sustaining gifts for people living in poverty. Their website even allows you to purchase and print a card letting a loved one know you have donated in their name. You can purchase medical attention for a pregnant woman, a goat that can provide milk to a child - even a grove of fruit trees!

31 Bits Jewelry is made out of 100% recycled paper, posters, and magazines by internally displaced women in Northern Uganda. Each piece of jewelry is unique and hand-crafted by a woman in the community of Gulu, Uganda.

Saint’s Coffee is tastey, and it’s fair trade, organic AND every lb you buy feeds an orphan for a month!

Invisible Children is selling bracelets made in Uganda to benefit former child soldiers. Each bracelet is a different color, and each color represents an individual child. These colored bracelets are accompanied by an inspiring short film about a child that has been personally affected by this unrelenting war.

Eastside Women of Purpose is selling $25 microloan gift cards to support a mircrofinance program through Bridges to the Nations, a non-profit ministry in Pattaya, Thailand. There are currently 50,000 young adults caught in the sex industry in Pattaya, Thailand, and a giftcard helps provide formerly enslaved men and women with education, job skills training and microloans to start their own business.

Do you know of more gifts that give back? Do share. Leave a comment with other resources for making a difference.

{Kristen}

All around us...

Mama Manifesto — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 16:21:39 -0800

The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.
-Leo Buscaglia

Lately I have been struck by this quote. Because when I stop to look at my life and my days right now, it is very clear that my day is made up of mini-moments strung together that are perfect opportunities to show my love to those in my path. As a full-time stay at home mama, my kids are the people I am with the most. I am trying to submit to this idea. To lean into it. To see each moment as an opportunity to share my love and joy with whomever I am engaged with in that moment. It changes the way I go about filling sippy cups and preparing lunch. Even how I lay that lunch on the table. So often, I am plopping lunch down, shuffling kids about and scurrying from here to there in the midst of that task. Today, I was conscious of setting it down and kissing each of my kids on the top of the head. Small moment. Huge difference in my day, though. I am left feeling less like a slave to routine, and more like I am the lucky one - to get to love on these beautiful people in my life. My kids. My husband. My in-laws. My parents. My friends. The lady in front of me at the grocery store. The little kid at the park who just needs a smile.

There really are opportunities all around me...

It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.
-Mother Teresa

Think of one person in your home (your kid, your spouse...) in your life that you know could use a bit more love today. - How could YOU be love for them? Do it today.

Who in your life (an individual or a family) do you know who could use some extra love this holiday season? -How could YOU or YOUR FAMILY be love to them? (Some ideas...How about inviting an elderly neighbor over for dinner...adopting a family to take gifts to...offering to babysit for a couple who desperately needs a date night...serving dinner at a local shelter...making a meal for a fellow mama who has her hands full...helping hang Christmas lights or helping bring a tree home to a family with a full plate or injury...)

{Ali}

I Double-Dog Dare You to Pray This

Mama Manifesto — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:26:34 -0800

My blogger-friend Christine, an adoptive mom and sassy pastor's wife, posted this prayer on her blog for National Adoption Month. I just dare you to pray it. Seriously. Just say the words out loud. No commitment, no radical shift. Just a prayer . . .

God, have you told me NOT to adopt? I find myself saying that some
people are called to it, and I'm not one of those people. Would you please show
me if I'm just using that as an excuse? Are you calling me, and I'm ignoring
you? These people I know that adopt, heck, they're not rolling in the dough. Is
there some creative way we could afford to do it? Are you asking me to make some big changes in our finances so we could make some big changes in our family?

Father, I don't like to accept help from others. Yet, I'd be the first one to
help out a friend who was adopting. Is that what you would ask us to do?What
about my house, God? It's really small. I thought we were full. Show me if there
is room for more. Right now I'm thinking (because the world tells me) that every
child needs to have their own room, and a certain sized backyard. Do you agree?
We don't have a playroom. We don't have big closets. Does that really matter?

I'm kinda' freaking out. I'm afraid that if I bring this up, you might tell me that
you want us to do this, but we don't feel called because you have some work to
do. Could you use me forever in the life of a child, if I would allow you to
work me over?If we are supposed to pursue this, light an insane passion within
us. If we need to make changes first, make them clear. If we are supposed to
wait, then give us the desire with a healthy dose of patience. If we are not to
adopt, show us. Lord, I wouldn't dare want to pass up such a massive opportunity
to serve you in this short little time I have here. At the same time, just
saying these words out loud is wigging me out!

I can't do what some of these women do. There are just so many unknowns. What if we get into something we can't handle ...Yeah. Okay. I'm answering my own questions.I'm still freaking out, but I love you. I want to chase after all that you are. Help me to want exactly what you want. And again ... freaking out.

Amen.

Just adopt, and then you'll get pregnant

Mama Manifesto — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:11:06 -0800

Most women who have any sort of issues getting pregnant have heard this statement before:

"Just adopt, and then you'll get pregnant."

I get this one a lot. Especially since it pretty much happened that way. And now here we are, adopting and pregnant again, too. So I get why people say it. It's one of those things people just kind of say. A conversation piece, I guess.

Now, if you are reading this and you've said this to me, don't worry. You are not alone or a bad person. Someone says this to me a couple times a week. Seriously. I'm not wanting to single anyone out to run a guilt trip. I know it's not said with ill intent. But to be candid. . .

This statement always makes me bristle a little bit. In part because I know that most people stuggling with infertility will not get pregnant after adopting. Statistically, it happens to a very small few of us.

Maybe it bugs me because I always wanted to adopt first. Mark was more keen on trying the old fashioned way first. I was ready for the homestudy well before I was ready to say goodbye to the pill. But I deferred to Mark. Because I am such a submissive wife.

Okay, stop laughing at me. I did submit. This one time.

But seriously, the reason this little cliche bothers me the most is that it could imply that pregnancy is a prize or consolation for having adopted. Like adoption is a means to an end. That maybe if you do it you could then get to have what your really want: your own child.

(Okay. Another pet peeve. An adopted child is your own child.)

India was not the "prize" for having adopted Jafta. Jafta is the prize for having adopted Jafta.

So I suggest that we do away with this little statement altogether. That we let it fly away on the wind with other statements you should never say to adoptive parents. Like "are those your real kids?" or "how much did he cost?". Or my favorite, when I was asked if I run a daycare from my home.

So for people considering adoption:

If you adopt, then you will be a real parent.
If you adopt, then you will be abundantly blessed with a child who will flourish with your love.

Fear Not

Mama Manifesto — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 11:01:46 -0800

It's election night. The internet is abuzz with people leaving their commentary on Obama's win, and here are some quotes from my own friends who were obviously looking for a different outcome:

"I am moving out of the country"
"I am about to drive off a cliff"
"Come quickly, Lord Jesus"
"I feel like the floodgates of war have just been unlocked"
"I am buying a gun tomorrow"
"I hope American doesn't implode"
"I am fearful of things to come"

Oh boy. Sorry to call you out, my dear social networking friends.

I am annoyed by these comments not because I am a Democrat. ('cause I'm not). I am annoyed by these comments as a Christian and as an American. I realize that some people are disappointed, and that may prone them towards a little dramatic license right now. But this is ridiculous.

First of all, as a Christian, I know that God is in control. I know that the president will not change my faith or how I practice it. The government will not dictate what values I give my children, who I call my friends, or where I go to church. And (gasp), from what I've heard, Obama does not have an agenda to drive the church underground, persecute Christians, throw us into war or usher in the end days. Sure, it might suck if our taxes go up, or if Roe vs. Wade doesn't get overturned anytime soon, or if there is a new supreme court justice who doesn't think just like us. But is that a reason to live in fear? Sorry to rain on the alarmist parade, but this stuff didn't radically change with our previous presidents, either.

But more than that . . . People. Get some perspective!!! Are you really scared about the future of the United States because our president just changed? If so, I encourage you to get off your spoiled American hiney and go visit Haiti. Or Burma. Or Taiwan or the Congo. Talk to someone who lives in a country ruled by Robert Mgabe. And then come back and tell us all how freakin' good we have it here, and what an oppressive and corrupt government really feels like. We have had liberal and conservative presidents in the past 30 years. We have had democrats and republicans. Do you really think that our country, and the way we live our daily lives, changes that much with a change in the presidency? Do you really the the government is in charge of our moral fiber? I mean, seriously, look at the history books. I sure as heck didn't want Clinton to be president. But do I look back on those years of my life with fear and trembling, remembering the horrors of life in the US and how I wanted to flee the country? No. I have full confidence that our country is and will continue to be the greatest place to live.

America is awesome. God is good. I thank God I live in this country, and I refuse to live in fear. Stop shaking in your boots and say a little prayer for the new leader. I think we're all gonna be okay.