Mama Manifesto | conversantlife.com

All around us...

November 28, 2008, 4:21 pm » Mama Manifesto

The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.
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Tags | Family

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I Double-Dog Dare You to Pray This

November 25, 2008, 3:26 pm » Mama Manifesto

My blogger-friend Christine, an adoptive mom and sassy pastor's wife, posted this prayer on her blog for National Adoption Month. I just dare you to pray it. Seriously. Just say the words out loud. No commitment, no radical shift. Just a prayer . . .

God, have you told me NOT to adopt? I find myself saying that some
people are called to it, and I'm not one of those people. Would you please show
me if I'm just using that as an excuse? Are you calling me, and I'm ignoring
you? These people I know that adopt, heck, they're not rolling in the dough. Is
there some creative way we could afford to do it? Are you asking me to make some big changes in our finances so we could make some big changes in our family?

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Tags | Social Justice

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Just adopt, and then you'll get pregnant

November 13, 2008, 5:11 pm » Mama Manifesto

Most women who have any sort of issues getting pregnant have heard this statement before:

"Just adopt, and then you'll get pregnant."

I get this one a lot. Especially since it pretty much happened that way. And now here we are, adopting and pregnant again, too. So I get why people say it. It's one of those things people just kind of say. A conversation piece, I guess.

Now, if you are reading this and you've said this to me, don't worry. You are not alone or a bad person. Someone says this to me a couple times a week. Seriously. I'm not wanting to single anyone out to run a guilt trip. I know it's not said with ill intent. But to be candid. . .

This statement always makes me bristle a little bit. In part because I know that most people stuggling with infertility will not get pregnant after adopting. Statistically, it happens to a very small few of us.

Tags | Family

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Fear Not

November 5, 2008, 11:01 am » Mama Manifesto

It's election night. The internet is abuzz with people leaving their commentary on Obama's win, and here are some quotes from my own friends who were obviously looking for a different outcome:

"I am moving out of the country"
"I am about to drive off a cliff"
"Come quickly, Lord Jesus"
"I feel like the floodgates of war have just been unlocked"
"I am buying a gun tomorrow"
"I hope American doesn't implode"
"I am fearful of things to come"

Oh boy. Sorry to call you out, my dear social networking friends.

I am annoyed by these comments not because I am a Democrat. ('cause I'm not). I am annoyed by these comments as a Christian and as an American. I realize that some people are disappointed, and that may prone them towards a little dramatic license right now. But this is ridiculous. Help!!

Tags | Politics

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Can We Still Be Pro-Life on November 5th?

November 3, 2008, 11:42 am » Mama Manifesto

It's an election year, and passions and opinions about the abortion debate are at an all-time high. People are extremely vocal about their views on protecting the unborn. In fact, it seems to be, for many, the single-most important factor in deciding who to vote for.

I am pro-life, and I think all this conviction is great. But I wonder what it will look like on November 5th? Will we be as "pro-life" once the vote is cast? Where will all this energy go? Once the pro-life political email forwards and youtube videos slow down, how do we take this enthusiasm and translate it into action?

How will this affect how we spend our time?
How can we mobilize our local church to care for birthmoms?
How do we care for pregnant teens in our own community?
How will we assist with the orphan problem worldwide?
How will we respond to the 115,407 children in foster care who are waiting for a family?
How will we aid children suffering from malnutrition in impoverished countries?
How will we demand that our government protect the lives of innocent civilian children living in countries that we attack?
How will we respond to the children in US cities who live on the streets or in shelters or transient motels?
How will we educate teenagers so that they have the information they need to avoid unwanted pregnancies?
How will we keep our local hospitals accountable for their policies on late-term abortions and infant care?

Tags | Politics

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Missed Opportunities at Halloween

November 2, 2008, 1:15 pm » Mama Manifesto

Turns out I could have been passing out voting information to unsuspecting children at Halloween! The folks at Yes on Prop 8 in California are giving me lots of reasons to regret philosophically agreeing with them. I do believe in maintaining marriage in the traditional sense, but boy are their tactics making me cringe. Check out these tracks they posted for people to pass out to trick-or-treaters.

Prop 8 Pamphlets for Halloween

Here you go, kids. No candy tonight. Down with the gays!! Tell your parents!

I like this idea about as much as I like the idea of leaving a "How to Ask Jesus Into Your Heart" tract instead of a tip. Waiters LOVE when that happens!

Tags | Politics

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When Did We Sanction Slander?

October 26, 2008, 10:44 pm » Mama Manifesto

DEF slander (noun): words spoken that damage the reputation of another

I have debated writing about this for the past few weeks. I really don't want to come off as judgemental, and it's hard because I already feel like I have ruffled feathers with some of my friends and family with my political jabbering. But I really feel compelled to ask this question, of all of us:

When did we decide that slander was okay, as long as it pertains to politics?

Now when I say slander, I don't mean people opposing a person's policies, asking questions, or saying we don't like a particular candidate. That's all fine by me. I'm talking about people repeating rumors that are untrue, or stating things that are partly true or manipulated, or forwarding an email before checking the facts. I don't think this is being done intentionally, I think it's just passing along information that we get from friends that sound alarming.

Tags | Politics

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Surrendering to Looking Stupid: Part 2

October 16, 2008, 2:15 pm » Mama Manifesto

I wrote about my own surrender to looking stupid a few months ago. Lately, I am realizing that this theory must apply to my children as well. Okay, let me try to circumvent any nasty comments by saying this: I don't think my kids ever look stupid.

But . . .

sometimes the choices they make are just not my choices. And sometimes their fashion sense just doesn't make any sense.

I've mentioned my disdain for character clothing, and my loathing of crocs. And yet, for some reason, these two items seem to hold a mythical attraction for Jafta. He has one "character" outfit that he begs to wear EVERY SINGLE DAY. Sometimes, at naptime, I will come in the room and find he has changed into this outfit by himself. And he wants to wear his crocs every wear he goes. Pair this with his red Angels hat, which he also insists on wearing every day, and it's not exactly fashion city around here.

Tags | Family

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Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon: Politics Style

October 14, 2008, 2:20 pm » Mama Manifesto

I love to play this silly game called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon: where you name an actor and then, in six movies or less, you have to connect them to a movie that Kevin Bacon was in. It's silly and trivial but, well, so am I.

I've been noticing this game being played out in politics all month. It's a fun little guilty-by-association game. Six Degrees of Desperation, if you will. And both sides are playing. Hard. Here are some of the gems I've heard online this week:

1. Obama is on the board of a charity for education
2. A University of Chicago professor is on the charity board

Tags | Politics

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The Therapist Is In: Conflict Resolution for Toddlers

September 29, 2008, 9:35 pm » Mama Manifesto

My kids are getting to an age where they are both fighting an awful lot. They fight over toys, over sippy cups, over chairs . . . you name it. India is just about to turn 2, and many times the fights are just completely illogical. For example: India was claiming that Jafta's blue blanket was hers (which she knows to be untrue and yet seems to enjoy the drama). Jafta, in his 3-year-old need for justice, argued just as vehemently that the blanket was, indeed, his own. This repeats itself, with various substitutions of content, all day, every day.

In an effort to quell the nonsensical fighting, I figured that Jafta, being eldest, was the more logical of the two. I decided to try to teach him the concept of "agreeing to disagree". I spent some intentional time with him talking about the fighting, and explaining that perhaps he could just end the fight by saying "we agree to disagree". I explained how this meant that he didn't agree with her, but he wasn't going to argue. We even practiced it a few times. Jafta kept saying it wrong (we agree to agree), but whatever. He got the concept. I thought.

So here is how the next episode went:

(India puts Jafta's shoes on her feet)

Jafta: India, those are MY shoes!

India: They're mine! India's shoes.
Jafta: We agree to agree, India.

India: They're MINE!

Jafta: WE AGREE TO AGREE, INDIA!

India: They're MINE!

Jafta: (now screaming) WE AGREE TO AGREE, INDIA!!!
India: They're MINE!

Jafta: WE AGREE TO AGREE! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?! WE AGREE TO AGREE!

lather. rinse. repeat.

So, yeah. There you have it. The family therapist explains conflict resolution for you. Bet you can't wait to try this one at home.

You're welcome.

Tags | Family

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