Phil Towne

Things I Am Thankful For

Phil Towne — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:45:12 -0800

Many days at work recently I have dealt with people who are in extreme need. Every night I have gone home very drained and tired. However, I am also reminded of things to be thankful.

I am thankful for (not in order of importance):

A house to live in - I have lately been trying to help so many people who have none. They can't afford to rent or buy. They don't have friends, or have burned all their bridges in their past, so have no one to turn to. They don't have a roof over their heads and I simply can't help them all...so some of them remain with nothing over their heads.

An amazing wife - Every day, my wife stays home with our children and teaches them, plays with them, feeds them, takes care of them, and somehow still loves them and even me. She is also adventurous, fun, and loving. I think I have the best wife ever. I just helped a woman who is not able to be with her husband right now due to a court battle. It is very hard, and makes life difficult on her and her kids. I sometimes take for granted the amazing blessing I have in Sarah.

My kids - I have four wonderful kids. Zoe, Adelaide, Elijah, and Penelope. They are all amazing, and each unique. How did I get so blessed? Some are not able to have children, and they hurt...

Food - a basic necessity to be sure, again something I so easily take for granted, but I work with so many who don't have it, and who need it.

Clean water - we live in a non third-world country where we in fact don't have to drink water from a bottle, even though many of us foolishly choose to. However, the water straight from our tap is clean enough to drink, use for cooking, etc. Think about it, this is really quite an amazing fact.

Cars - We have two. Two cars, when most of the world has none. Both of ours are paid off even. My Jeep is nearly 15 years old, but who cares, it is a champ and I will not get rid of it until it dies. We are so blessed to have transportation when we need it.

Church/Employment - Since I am a pastor, these two go together for me, and yet are somehow separate. I am very thankful to be a part of a church where people know and care about me. I am also thankful to be able to be a part of caring for others. Despite the critiques I sometimes have of the institutional church, I am grateful for the many blessings that it brings as well.

Money - Weird to think about this one, but really, I am thankful to have adequate finances. I actually have more than enough. I hope that I am one that can bless others through what I have. I am thankful that I am well provided for.

Friends - We have dear friends locally and around the world, and thanks to the blogging world and facebook, I am able to keep in touch with them all.

God - I truly could not make it in this life without God being a key part of my life. All of the above I attribute in part or in whole to God and God's provision. I sometimes wonder if I am God's favorite.

Well, that is enough thought for today. Have a blessed holiday.

Feeling Blessed,

Phil

An Disconcerting Conversation That Occurred While Waiting to Vote

Phil Towne — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 22:48:55 -0800

So, last Tuesday, while waiting in line to vote at the local church where we vote, I struck up a conversation with the gentleman directly behind me. One of the first questions that came up, as usually does in this sort of conversation, was that of occupation. I told him that I am a pastor on staff at a local church, and that I lived nearby. He then said that he believed that we "follow the same carpenter" with a sort of "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" in his voice. A bit cheesy of a line, but I understood what he meant.

He then went on to tell me he was a financial advisor and that his business was to tell Christians how to manage their finances according to God's plans, etc. This all sounded pretty fair and good. He then began to tell me about his kids. He had three, and two were currently attending High School. When he told me which one, I quickly thought, "wait a minute, that school is not in our district, what is up?" So I asked him about why his kids were not in our district (I am intentionally keeping specific names out of this blog), seeing as I knew he had to live only a block or two from my house to be voting where I voted.

His response astounded me. He said, "Well, my first son attended the school in our district and we found (and at this point his voice got very quiet, almost a whisper) that there were a lot of ethnicities in that school. The school in the upper part of town (which is not in our/their district) has a lot more Caucasians in it." At this point, I am really not sure if my jaw physically dropped or not, but I was pretty darn sure that he was not voting for Barack Obama. It is at times like this when I really have no comeback. I have thought of numerous witty comebacks or things to say since then, but when someone says something like this so directly and with so little shame, it leaves me with such a shock, I am quite unsure what to do.

At any rate, after that I really had no desire to further our conversation, although he continued to try to tell me about his financial ministry and how great it was and how Christians and Churches respond so well to it. I thought to myself, "there is no way I want your racist booty in my church." Isn't it interesting that this man was so interested in getting his financial house in order, and helping others, but something which to me is so fundamental as the equality of people based upon race is so easily overlooked? I wonder what kinds of things I overlook while I am so pius about others?

My other thought coming out of this is how astounding it is that we have our first African American President elected to take office. Being white, I usually don't think about prejudice in our country because it doesn't effect me (which I am realizing I need to become more aware of), but seeing the massive outpouring of emotion after Obama's Presidential victory, made me emotional. Regardless of which party you voted for, this is a landmark in our history, and one to be celebrated. I pray and hope that this is something that will continue to foster better racial reconciliation.

Phil

Punk Rock, DIY, and File Sharing (after hearing Ian Mackaye speak)

Phil Towne — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:45:45 -0700

Today, over lunch I went to hear Ian Mackaye speak and give a Q & A session at one of the Claremont Colleges. Ian was formerly the frontman for the hardcore punk band Minor Threat and later in Fugazi, amongst several other musical projects. Having grown up on punk music, and seen him perform several times, I was fascinated to go attend this Q & A and hear what he had to say.

Ian has lived in DC all of his life and runs an independent record label called Discord Records which has been going for 28 years now. It was very interesting to hear his approach to life which is basically to shun everything that involves supporting someone elses corporate interest. Instead, he espouses an overall DIY (do-it-yourself) approach to life. His credo is to never play a show that is not all ages, always make shows reasonable (all shows I have attended have been 5-10 bucks), and live as simply as possible. He doesn't believe in the political system even though his dad was once a political aid to the President and he believes strongly in local community and helping others. His bands have often kicked people out of their shows for violence and even refunded their money. He states that it is not worth it to create music that becomes a soundtrack for someone else's violence.

One of his most interesting statements of the day came when someone in the audience asked about File Sharing and what he thought of music downloading. He stated that he believed that it actually benefitted the music and musician. He then told a story about how when he was recently asked to perform in Chile with a band he is in called "The Evens" that the crowd suddently began singing along. Since he runs the record label, he knew that they didn't have the CD and wondered how they all knew the songs. He then realized they had downloaded the music and asked the crowd if they all knew the songs because they had downloaded them. After an awkward silence, he thanked the crowd and stated that they were now giving back by bringing him here for this show.

Mackaye believes that file sharing is in fact helpful to artists who truly want to get thier music out and in the end it will benefit them rather than hurt them. If people like the music, they will buy it and give back in the end.

I was fascinated with this view, and although it may not hold up well with the major labels or in court, I tend to agree with his view, and tend to believe that most people who truly enjoy the music want to give back to the artists. If we take a higher view of the music and don' t just consume but enjoy it as art, then we will want to appreciate the artists.

What do you think?

Phil

New Media and The Church

Phil Towne — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:02:37 -0700

Recently, I overheard a discussion in our church office thatpiqued my interest. The people involved were suggesting that in ourservice we will likely soon begin experimenting with texting during theservices. It should be "cutting edge" and a new level ofinteractivity. So I asked about it naturally, fascinated, and was told that weare going to begin to have people able to text their questions for the pastorto answer.

Hmmm. It makes mewonder. Does texting within a churchservice really promote interactivity or perhaps distraction? Does it help or hinder the community? It is fascinating to me how uncriticallychurches accept these kinds of things as reasonable solutions and ideas in thechurch without thinking through any potential ramifications of the use of themediums. Simply amazing, or stunning perhaps.

What about this? Every week for about 10weeks our pastor stated that we should all bring our Bibles to church because"you are going to need them" but every week what is shown upon thejumbo screens but the very scriptures used in the sermons? Hmmm. What is it that we are really saying?When I look around and see leaders, other pastors and elders not reading theirBibles but instead looking at the glistening pixelized screen to fill their headwith ones and zeros, it almost makes me wonder why we even have Bible's. Whybring them at all?

In fact, I don't many times. Simply put, I don't need it, Ihave been taught not to. We teach ignorance to our congregation by uncriticalutilization of new technology. How doesone learn to navigate the Biblical text when we are taught not to use it by themedia that inform us? We reverseourselves into a time when scripture was not available to all but was insteadhanded down from the sage on the stage.

Not that we should fear or shun technology, but perhaps alittle balance and thoughtful consideration would be useful.

Phil

Editorial Notation: Please note that this particular blog is not meant at all to be negative toward my church or others similar to mine who utilize media in this way. I am more interested in the critical analysis of new media and its usage by the church, for the building up of the church. After re-reading this blog, I realized that this could have sounded somewhat critical of my own church, which was not the intention. My intention is merely to ask questions with the hope of improving and more thoughtfully analyzing what we do within our churches. (Phil 11/9/08)

My Beautiful Mommy - A Big Busted Book For Our Generation

Phil Towne — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:16:41 -0700

I recently learned about a book that some of you may already be familiar with. It is called My Beautiful Mommy. The website advertising this book summarizes the book this way, "Join a young girl as her Mommy goes through her plastic surgery experience, and learn how the entire family pitches in to help Mommy achieve her beautiful results."

Now here is a true sign of our times. We now have a book to educate our children about plastic surgery once mommy has her mommy-makeover. Because Lord knows we had better be sensitive about this sort of thing. We wouldn't want our beauty enhancements to be mis-understood or anything. Sheesh...

Seriously, what in the world are we teaching our kids with this? Let me point out one more image from the book as a simple example here...

I am not sure that there is really a need for much commentary here, but I will insert some anyway. The Mommy in the picture is explaining to her daughter that she is going to get her tummy made smaller and consequently, this will cause her to feel better about herself. Wow. So what message does this send? Well, I think it is a bit obvious here.

But hey, you know, ours is a world in which if it makes you feel better about yourself, then why not proceed? So your kids might ask a few hard questions, and might wonder why Mommy needs to have her nose smaller or boobs bigger to feel better about herself. And hey, this may even make the little girl want to follow in Mommy's footsteps and alter her appearance for acceptance and self-worth.

I certainly won't judge this mom, nor will I think that this is bad for her child, in fact, heaven forbid anyone ever make any kind of mention of how another should parent their children (unless of course you have several kids, then you are some kind of wacko who can't control your sex drive and should get a TV, but this will definately have to wait for another blog).

See you soon,

Phil

Perspective

Phil Towne — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:07:40 -0700

Lately, I have had a very complaining attitude about things going on in my life, at my church, etc. But today, I was reminded that I need to gain some perspective. Here is the story:

It actually begins a couple days ago. A man named Joseph called me on the phone saying that he needed some gas money. To give you some background, one of the things I do at my church is work with people who are in need, and help to meet those needs or connect them with those who can. So picking up the phone and beginning the conversation is where the often difficult task of discernment of the true need begins.

Joseph jumps into a story that in short involves long lost friendship, recent re-connection, and the discovery that his long lost friend, Christine, now has Crone’s Disease, which has not only wreaked havoc on her body, but also contributed to her husband leaving, and most of her friends abandoning her as dead. Joseph, struggling to make ends meet, says he simply needs some money to drive Christine to Las Vegas so that she can receive a much needed medical treatment.

This is the story that I heard two days ago, as he was picking her up from Cedar Sinai in Los Angeles. I told him that I would happily find a way to help him with the fuel costs, and he said he would call again soon. When I talked to him the next day, he said he no longer needed the money, that another friend of his had volunteered to pay for the gas, and he simply asked for prayer. I thought this would be the end of the story.

Not so. Today, while in my office, I got a call from our receptionist who said that someone was at the front waiting to see me. Expecting another appointment, I made my way to the front. When I arrived, I met Joseph, a rather imposing character somewhat resembling the wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin, who rose very slowly and painfully from his seat, with the help of a cane, although not because he is aged, as he is merely a couple years older than myself.

Joseph came in simply to meet and thank a person who was willing to help him. As we talked, he shared his own story of how his body was brutally crushed in a forklift accident five years ago. However, he cried for his friend Christine and wished that he could take her pain upon himself rather than her having to endure it. The Christ-like nature of this man struck me, in the way he did not look at his own situation with pity, instead preferring to relieve the suffering of another.

This served as a brilliant reminder to me today to have perspective. Be thankful. Don’t be a complainer. Serve others. Love God, Love your neighbor.

Phil

What is Community? (Pt. 1)

Phil Towne — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:55:26 -0700

Not long ago I was meeting with a mentor of mine, who has functioned as a spiritual director to me at various times the last few years. In my mind, our meeting was not about spiritual formation but to catch up on some other stuff going on, but all of the sudden he asked me a question, seemingly out of nowhere. He asked, "so what is God doing in your life?" An innocent and fine question to ask, but not one I had come prepared to answer. I immediately told him what I had been studying in my devotions and how it had been going.

He, being the type that he is, saw through my religiosity and complimented me upon my extraordinary accomplishments, but then asked again what God was doing, NOT what I was doing. He then politely excused himself to get some more tea while I was allowed to humbly recover for a bit. When he returned from getting tea, I began to tell him that I was not really feeling that God was doing something, but told him instead about a good friend who was in the process of moving away and how this was affecting me.

As we continued to talk, I told him that part of what made it so hard on me about my friend moving away is that he is one of the only people that I am close to in my church. Even being a pastor on a decent sized staff, I don't have many I consider close friends. I then began to express some frustration about the state of the church (not mine only, but many) and how there seems to be a lack of community.

Finally, he wisely stated that perhaps what God is doing is using this experience of my good friend Bill moving away to allow me to more deeply experience this need for what we often call "community" in the church. So, after this meeting, I have been ruminating on this idea for a few weeks and thought I would post it here and open it up a bit for thoughts.

Here are a few of my thoughts in somewhat of a stream ofconsciousness:

We often speak of community in our churches as a goal to be reached as if this is some sort of program like other programs we have (the idea of program based church is a whole other topic to be tackled perhaps at another time).
We have community groups and community group pastors. However, there seems to be a disconnect between the more traditional idea of living "in community" and building community. I know of one pastor with the title of "Pastor of Community" who lives 30+ miles from the church he serves in.
We have a goal of "creating community." But I sometimes wonder what community actually is? What makes it up? Is this something actually created or does it just happen?

This blog is only the beginning, and I intentionally am leaving it hanging, hoping more will join in on the conversation…

Please do.

Phil

The Wall

Phil Towne — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:17:37 -0700

So, sometimes there are those times in life when you are under a lot of stress, things are in turmoil, your wife is in hormonal disruption, your kids are crazy, your job is changing, and you decide to go back to school and take on a second job at the same time. All of the sudden recently I have hit a wall.

This wall is one that I have hit many times before. I hit it whenever there are tons of stressful things going on. I think I can go on no longer, fight no more, and I just feel that an entire change of life is necessary. These are the times when I feel that the best thing in life to do would be to simply sell my home studio equipment, sell all my books, quit my job, quit school, and move to a land where the pace of life is slow.

And do you know why? Because everything would be better, the grass is greener there, and I would be happier. All stress would be flushed away down the toilet of life if I could only expel it here and leave it behind.

However, at some point I come back to reality, coming quickly back to the place where I know that all of what in life that is currently stressful is actually good. My wife is wonderful, my kids amazing, my job a blessing, school is fruitful, my home studio an outlet, and the second job, well, it is a dream. An adjunct teaching position this next year teaching the Old Testament. How great is that?

Does this all make me any less stressed at the moment? No, but it does give me some semblance of hope for tomorrow, that somehow I have made it through these times before, and I will somehow by grace make it through again. I am provided for, and in these times of high gas prices and crappy economy, that is indeed a blessing. Thanks for letting me flesh out my internal rant for you.

For now desperately,

Phil

Rockstar

Phil Towne — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 21:26:26 -0700

Lately I have been thinking about the role that the pastor plays. It seems that often times, we as pastors strive for the glorified, upfront position in which we are essentially the lead singer of a rock band. We seek to make a name for ourselves by fighting the battles and then coasting into our prime ministry years after making a name for ourselves by paying our dues playing in the smaller clubs and venues, before making it to the big stage.

This view of pastoral ministry has left me with quite a disgusted feeling inside. I am essentially performing to a certain level to entertain a certain crowd in order to achieve a certain level of achievement. How is this different from entertainment. A man by the name of Marshall McLuhan about thirty some years ago made a now famous statement saying “the medium is the message.” By making this statement he was essentially saying that what we communicate by what we do is making as much or more of a statement than what we are actually saying in our words. In other words, by performing to a certain level, attaining this rockstar status, we are in essence proclaiming that a pastor is a celebrity of sorts.

Mike Pilavacci when he spoke at our church a couple months ago made a statement similar to this. In one of his sermons, he spoke of himself beginning to think of himself at one point in his career as a “minor Christian celebrity” because of how he was becoming known. At this point in the message he proceeded to turn it around and talk about how meaningless and worthless this prestige is.

It is interesting to ponder what Jesus thinks of rockstar pastors. Does he become glad that some use his name to gain personal fame? Is he thrilled when we make it to the big time?

Didn’t he just seem thrilled with the religious leaders of his day who seemed puffed up with themselves? Didn’t he just love it when they prayed on the street corners and paraded around showing off their vast amounts of wisdom and superiority?

Why did Jesus say that some would say “Lord, Lord” but he would say to them “I never knew you.”? Are there some among us that are saying “Lord, Lord” but who do not have the right motives?

In a rock band, it is the lead singer and/or lead guitar player who get all of the girls. They are usually the showmen of the band. Meanwhile, the rhythm guitar, bass, and drums sit back and do most of the work, and less show, receiving much less glory. Many of us strive to be in this pastoral position of leadsinger/rockstar, calling the shots and getting the glory and credit. This is far different from Jesus whom did not call us to stardom but self-denial and self-death. Are we ready to put others before ourselves and lead as Jesus did or is our glory more important than that of the one whom we claim to serve?

Phil

Rewards and Motives

Phil Towne — Tue, 27 May 2008 15:48:29 -0700

Welcometo my first blog here on conversantlife. How does one even begin a blog of this sort? Posting a first blog often seems to set thetone of the whole course of one's blog. To be quite honest, this makes me a bit nervous, partially because I aman extreme perfectionist, and partially because people may then see me as beinga certain way and then I may have to actually live up to those standards.

At any rate, here we go, but first my slightly apprehensive disclaimer that I hope that my blog will continually be evolving, much like my own self and thought. I hope that my participation in this site will be a learning experience, and I view it as a bit of an experiment. So here we go with some recent thoughts I have been having as I do some reading.

As pastors, and even Christians, we sometimes wonder about the motives of others. Sometimes we begin to wonder whether others simply follow Christ to escape from hell and receive a "reward." Some jokingly call this sort of mentality "fire insurance," meaning that by following, one can escape the horrible fires of hell.

However, I ran across a quote from C.S. Lewis not long ago when I was reading that I thought addressed this issue very well. Lewis speaks of how we often worry about people viewing heaven as a bribe, instead of living out an embodied kingdom of God here and now. It is as if people try to take heaven by force, and are selfish about it. However, Lewis addresses this by saying:

"It is not so. Heaven offers nothing that a mercenary soul can desire. It is safe to tell the pure in heart that they shall see God, for only the pure in heart want to. There are rewards that do not sully motives. A man's love for a woman is not mercenary because he wants to marry her, nor his love for poetry mercenary because he wants to read it, nor his love of exercise less disinterested because he wants to run and leap and walk. Love, by definition, seeks to enjoy its object."

C.S. Lewis here points out that we need not worry about people's motives for only the pure in heart are the ones who are able to truly desire what is true and good. Those desiring the end result without truly following the life laid out by the revolutionary man named Jesus do not have a self-sacrificing life in mind, but a selfish end-result in mind. They do not truly desire what Heaven entails, but merely an earthly reflection of their own self-imagined paradise.

What if we took heaven out of the equation all together? What if we simply didn’t use this as any sort of a motivating factor in our ideas about conversion? What would happen to our presentation of the gospel? Perhaps some things would change in the way it is lived out.

Phil