Phil Towne

18

Phil Towne — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:57:15 -0800

The following is something my wife Sarah wrote today, and it brilliantly illustrates what is on my mind. I probably could not have written this today, but wanted to share her words.

From Sarah's Blog Today, March 8:

Eighteen years ago today, my husband's father died.

It started out like any other day. Phil was a junior in high school, the only child of two incredibly loving parents. Phil's dad, Ed, was the senior pastor at a large, thriving and growing church in Tucson, Arizona. His mom was just about as sweet and kind as anyone you've ever met.

Mom & Dad were in Seattle for a couple of days, teaching at a church where they had many friends, and had lived before. Phil stayed in Tucson. It was a Sunday afternoon. Phil got a phone call from someone his family knew in Seattle. Ed had been in a pretty bad car accident.

Phil headed out to church, where the Sunday evening service would shortly begin. The exact details are blurry to my husband, but he headed home, along with his youth pastor and a couple of friends, to begin packing. Phil was going to go up to Seattle to be with his parents.

About that time, a few of the elders of the church came into Phil's room to deliver the word: Ed had passed away.

Time seems to stop.

Life as we know it, permanently altered.

Questions to this day, 18 years later, remain: What If? What would Phil be like, had his dad lived? Not to mention Phil's mom (who joined her husband about 4 years ago, leaving my dear husband an orphan at 30), the church, the world . . . ?

Phil had a professor in seminary who said, "Life is inherently tragic." Really. Without trying to be morbid or woe-is-me or fatalistic or glum, it's really true. We all experience loss, and the loss of our own lives will cause others to experience the depth of pain.

Life is 100% fatal.

Today, the truth of that inspires me to make this day, this moment, matter. The more keenly felt the loss, the more powerful and rich and full and ALIVE, the life, right?

I'm grateful for Phil's dad. Although I never met him, I see his impact on my husband. I see echos of Ed's faith and love and grace, I feel deeply the loss, this many years later, and I am grateful.

Daily Bread

Phil Towne — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 06:47:01 -0800

Yesterday, as I made some phone calls to a couple different friends, a verse was brought to my attention a couple different times (and also through an excellent blog by John Barry "Worry is Like a Dancing Bear"). This verse has been a favorite of mine for quite some time, but this morning I went back and read it again.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?...indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So do not worry aobut tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:25-34)

Looking back a bit farther in Matthew 6 we find “The Lord’s Prayer.” In it, there is the phrase, “give us this day our daily bread.”

Today, as I sit and write, I can hear the birds singing outside. They sing in an outside where it has been cold and dark and dead for the last several months here in Idaho. Now, we are beginning to see signs of life. We are beginning to see some new green grass grow, and some buds peeking out of branches. The sun has been out for several days and we have played outside.

The birds of the air are taken care of even through winter. In the life of my family, we have experienced a winter. But, God has been so faithful to provide us daily bread, gently bringing us along through the winter to a place where we can see some light and growth as we feel we are nearing the spring.

We do not know what God has in store for each of our lives. However, we do know that we can trust this one who is so faithful to provide for our needs, bringing daily bread, and taking care of our needs.

Dear God, let us not forget the winters in our lives, and let us not forget your magnificent provisions that are more than we can ask or imagine. Forgive us of our worrying and fretting. Let us remember these times, and be an instrument of grace to others as they traverse through winters. Amen.

Phil

Signs of the Times

Phil Towne — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 22:16:49 -0800

So I have been noticing around conversantlife a theme of very serious blogs lately. My own last blog took on a very somber tone. I don't want to discount any of these blogs or thoughts, but I did want to add a slightly lighter blog to balance my own thoughts as of late. Not everything in this life needs to be so heavy.

I saw two signs today. This first one spoke to me prophetically for where I am at currently. To learn what we need to learn, our family needed to come to where we are at. God has been at work healing and doing some stuff in our lives, and today, when I read this sign, it was a visual reminder of the process and path that I am on.

The second sign is much lighter. I had seen this before but never photographed it. Is there really any explanation needed?

A clever positioning of this sign? It certainly catches one's eye every time it is passed. Double Entendre? Intentional? Brilliant? Not sure, but I will never drink a Coke again without thinking what it may do to me.

I hope you enjoyed them.

Blessings,

Phil

These are the days of our lives...

Phil Towne — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 13:26:21 -0800

So, it has now been almost 7 months of being unemployed (at least full-time employment). Today, I am extremely discouraged. Not only is it overcast and depressing outside, but my heart is heavy and overcast as well.

We are learning a lot here and honestly believe that God brought us here for some reason, but we are unsure of what. I do know one thing. He is breaking us down, and making us uncomfortable in the process. I am not into discomfort. I personally would much rather live life in all of my comforts and securities, with lots of ease.

But, alas, this is not what God has promised or even intended for us. Instead, it seems he wants to stretch and grow us. He is teaching me about my attitude, and that I need desperately to change it. He is reminding me of his call on my life. He is showing me that I have a propensity to always be looking on the other side of the fence in order to see the greener grass. I am learning that I am bad at being satisfied where I am. You know that phrase, “wherever you are, be all there”? Yeah, I suck at that.

But earlier today, I was reminded of something. I was reminded by my friend Tim, who wrote a blog on Exodus 17 that we need others. Moses needed others to hold up his arms when they were tired. He could not do it alone. At a time like this, I am grateful to have others holding up my arms. I am also desperately in need of the holding up. Please, lift up my arms…

We don’t know what is next for us. I recently had an interview for a job that would satisfy our physical needs, but we also wonder if this is the answer. We still feel pulled toward ministry in some context, but we are not sure where we fit. We have exhausted all possibilities here in Boise, and are now looking elsewhere, including back in Socal for jobs.

We wait and hope and trust, but are unsure and doubt and wonder. I for one feel an intense pressure to provide for my family, and yet also feel like God has something up his sleeve. But what if I am wrong? We just watched “Night at the Museum” last night with our older girls. In it, Ben Stiller gets a pep talk by Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams) saying that he (Ben Stiller) is great. Stiller’s character asks “but what if I am just an ordinary guy who should get a job?”

What if I should just get a job? (And as a side note, how can such a silly movie speak prophetically?)

These are the things I struggle with. These are my ponderings. “These are the days of our lives…”

Predestined to Fight

Phil Towne — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 13:38:28 -0800

Today I came across this article in the NY Times paper. The title "Flock is Now a Fight Team in some Ministries". The article lays out the details of several ministries oriented around the idea of fighting. They promote the idea that Jesus was a fighter, not a wimpy boy.

To be honest, I am a fan of MMA fighting. Perhaps it is a weakness of mine, a character flaw. But I grew up as a huge Pro Wrestling fan, and when I discovered this later in life as an adult, I instantly gravitated toward it.

However, I do have my concerns.

Is this sport pushing the boundaries too far? When I think about MMA fighting, and I think about the push to have a certain serial killer executed on Pay Per View a few years back, I wonder if we are becoming almost a Roman culture of death in the arena. How far is it before something like MMA gets pushed to a further limit? Will it happen? I certainly hope not. While I enjoy the technique and aggression of MMA, I often find myself wondering whether this is an indulgence of my flesh.

This brings me back to these ministries. I will not recount the article here, but I would love for you each to read it (linked above). What do you think of a ministry that has a "Fight Pastor" or dons clothing with the motto "Predestined to Fight"? Is this an appropriate presentation of the gospel? Is this what Christianity is about? Is this a good way to "reach out" to men?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Phil

My Blackberry = Good Relationships

Phil Towne — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:01:02 -0800

Have you seen the new Nextel Blackberry commercial? This commercial is brilliant. It is not brilliant because it is made so well (although the production value seems good to me). It is not brilliant because of the product (although I hear Blackberrys are great phones). It is brilliant because of the story it tells.

Have you noticed all of the best or most memorable commercials tell a story. There is the old Nextel commercial where people get married quickly utilizing their Nextel phones or the one where the businessmen cut a deal quickly because of their phones. But this one is even more brilliant.

The commercial tells the story of two people, a couple, who are having trouble working out their difficulties. Many of us have been there, while in a relationship. Bad communication and trouble connecting, affect two people causing a rift between them resulting in the necessary “talk.”

Attempting to talk it out in a restaurant doesn’t go well. The girl ends up storming out and heads down the sidewalk. Thankfully, his trusty Blackberry comes to the rescue. He texts her. She gets it, turns around, and then embraces him as he exits the diner.

Thank God for allowing our communication to be assisted by a Blackberry.

This commercial brings up so many interesting observations and questions. It is clearly implied that digital communication is easier and more effective than face-to-face communication. That is exactly what Nextel was getting at. Far from discounting this idea, I am more inclined to affirm that most people find digitally mediated communication easier and more effective than face-to-face communication. But is this good?

How many readers have unlimited text plans? Many find they do more communication via text than in-person anymore. Just the other day, I drove to a friend’s house to pick him up. I called twice to tell him I was there, but no answer. I then sent a text message, to which he replied immediately that he would be right out.

What does this sort of communication do to us? Are we being altered by our chosen mediums? How does this affect the way people think and write? In classes I teach, I am seeing text language creep into my student’s papers and correspondence.

But back to the point. Do we really want our relationships to be mediated by a cell phone? While perhaps efficient at some forms of communication, let this not be a substitute for authentic, real, heart-to-heart relationship. Real relationships are hard, requiring effort. Let us not forsake the meeting together as some are now in the habit of doing.

Phil

The Manhattan Declaration

Phil Towne — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:36:01 -0800

Yesterday, I noticed some commentary floating around Facebook about The Manhattan Declaration, and how several conservative theologians are unwilling to sign it (R.C. Sproul, John Piper, and John Macarthur). In case you are unaware of the Manhattan Declaration, it is essentially a statement that affirms the sanctity of life, the meaning of marriage, and the nature of religious liberty.

The attempt of this document is to unite believers from Evangelical, Catholic, and Orthodox backgrounds together to affirm that the aforementioned are values we affirm and are common to these various branches of Christianity.

The interesting part comes in the responses of Sproul, Piper and MacArthur, who refused to sign not based on their disagreement with the purpose and intent of the document but on their theological inclination. They seem to believe that in fact they can not partner with Catholics or Orthodox Christians, because they are unwilling to assent to the idea that they are in fact Christians, as they would define the term.

Here is a quote from Sproul's blog, "The Manhattan Declaration confuses common grace and special grace by combining them. While I would march with the bishop of Rome and an Orthodox prelate to resist the slaughter of innocents in the womb, I could never ground that cobelligerency on the assumption that we share a common faith and a unified understanding of the gospel." He is unwilling to partner for a good cause that he in fact believes in due to a difference in definitions of the gospel, or understanding of faith.

I have to say that this kind of thinking irritates me to no end, and I find it completely ridiculous. He is basically saying that unless he agrees with everything a person thinks, he is unwilling to be recognized as participating in a good cause with them.

Unwillingness to associate with someone who believes differently than you is a very dangerous thing. It certainly will not get any desired change accomplished in this world. This closed-minded sort of dogmatic statement will garner no respect, and in fact takes away from the validity and influence of these individuals. I respect Piper and MacArthur for their contributions to theology and Biblical studies, but it is hard for me to see their perspective here.

I find it quite sad that a document meant to affirm something positive becomes mired in ridiculous division over definitions. It is no wonder the world sees the Christian community as so irrelevant. Perhaps they are right.

Phil

POOR

Phil Towne — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 06:36:52 -0800

During the Holidays from Thanksgiving to Christmas, we are typically very aware of the needs of the poor. We often utilize this time to help those with extra needs. I applaud this sense of desiring to help. But the other day, as I was reading in Matthew, I began to think a bit about another kind of poverty.
Jesus states in Matthew 5, “blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.”

As I think through this, I have to wonder, what is “poor in Spirit?” I found some commentary here, and I begin thinking that poverty of spirit has more to do with what one thinks they have rather than poverty in finances, etc.

In other words, when we think we have it all together spiritually, that we are a spiritual leader, when we have a good understanding or mastery of the Gospel, we may actually be far from God. However, when we are humbled, knowing that we are not “the stuff”, we are able to see some glimpses of God’s Kingdom, the one on earth here and now.

There have frequently been times when I hear a preacher preach his sermon, and I have a hard time accepting the “truth” that they are propagating. At times it feels like scripture is not the sword of the spirit, but the sword of the preacher, being wielded to strike out at the listener. It does not feel that the preacher is striving to give a taste of the divine to draw people toward it, but rather to convince someone that their way is right, and un-belief in their way is not only wrong but also ignorant and stupid.

God’s opposite economy does not lend itself to people who have it all together. The Kingdom of Heaven is not for the spiritually arrogant, but those who realize their absolute need for God, their lack of understanding, and that they can’t figure it out and do it on their own. Hence, the term “poor in spirit” then reflects someone who does not “have it” already, but someone who sees their need and is forced to rely on something outside of themselves instead of looking inward to find the answers.

There are none who can find the answers within. Instead, we all have this need. However, we are not all “poor in spirit”. Many feel that they can by their own power and knowledge figure out the Kingdom. As scripture says elsewhere, they try to take it by force (Matthew 11:12). However, this approach does not work, instead causing a puffing up of the individual rather than a realization of the need for reliance on something much bigger, that we cannot truly and fully grasp.

Let us not be those who act with violence, but rather those who act as the poor, approaching the Kingdom humbly.

Change is Hard, pt 2

Phil Towne — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:50:17 -0800

If you have read any of my previous posts as of late, you will realize that not long ago, my wife and I left Southern California in order to move to the wonderful land of Boise, Idaho. We love it here so far, but it is really hard to change. So many times, I have looked back (as if to Egypt) remembering all of the good things I had, and how good I had it.

Although my desire is not to go back, it is easy to remember the good, and forget the bad, while focusing as much on the hard things where I am at. When I really think about it, I just don't care for discomfort. Anyone relate? There are times when I just would much rather be complacent and comfortable.

We miss our friends and the familiarity of the old place. And it is hard to learn new ways around, find new stores and restaurants, etc. It is hard to make new friends. It is hard to stretch ourselves.

And yet, I did not sign on to this journey for a life of comfort and to not be stretched. I signed on because I needed to. I needed to grow, change, and de-stagnate my life. Our family needed change. And most of all, God did not want us where we were at any longer.

There is a lot of humbling being done. I am adjusting to new roles, where I am not the de facto leader, where instead others lead me, and I am relearning. I do not have a title any longer. I am instead one servant amongst many, a face in the crowd where people don't automatically know me because I am a pastor.

Being an introvert by nature, this is hard for me, as I don't like to have to meet new people. And yet, this is what I am now called to.

It is a weird place, this place of change, and yet we can rest in the understanding that God has a much larger and more complete perspective, of which I am asking daily to get a bit more of.

See you soon,

Phil

Church Inoculation

Phil Towne — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:12:59 -0800

It is a tough flu season this year, and many are going to get their shots. My family is just getting over two weeks straight of the flu. But what does a shot do anyway? Basically, in non-technical terms, the vaccine shot introduces a bit of the flu into your system so that your system can build up immunities to the flu. Seems like a good idea, kind of a “fight fire with fire” type of thing. Give them a bit of the bad stuff that you don’t want them to get.

But there is another way to get vaccinated (at least partially). Get the Flu. Some would advise one to get a flu shot even if you have had the flu, but many others would ask, “why bother?” Most would agree that if one has had the flu this season, they have a fairly decent chance of not getting it again, because their system has built up the necessary anti-bodies to fight off a second flu attack.

Not long ago, I was reading a book by Jim Putman called “Church is a Team Sport.” At one point in this book, he compares many churches to a vaccine. He believes that when churches only focus on evangelism and getting people into the church, they essentially inoculate those folks. In other words, small doses of incomplete Christianity can in fact vaccinate people so that they go against Christianity rather than into it.

Being the flu season that it is, and thinking through Jim’s thought, I began to ponder what it is in the church that makes people inoculated to it. If we take the analogy of the flu, then there are two ways to become inoculated. First, get a small dose of Christianity that is incomplete. In doing so, one thinks they know what Christianity is all about. They go to a large church, and hear the professional band, hear the pastor speak, and then they leave inspired and yet unaffected. They build up anti-bodies. After a while, they begin to think this is all there is to the church, and unfortunately in many churches this is the truth.

The second way to become inoculated is to contract the illness. Hmm…perhaps that is too potent of an analogy. Perhaps not. What if rather than a small dose a person ends up highly committed to a church, volunteering or being employed there, and then finds herself in the unenviable place of realizing they just don’t believe this anymore? There is something that has been nagging at them for years, and they have pushed it under the rug and ignored it, but now it has reared its ugly head and is not able to be ignored anymore. After leaving the church, they have anti-bodies that will hopefully fight off another infection.

I know this is perhaps a very harsh analogy. However, in the last few months I have spoken with no less than 10 people who have either not engaged in church because they feel that there is no real substance or use, or that have left ministry after being burned out because they were working for something that they no longer believe in. These are not isolated instances, but rather a theme of inoculation that is happening.

I can’t help but think that we are doing people a dis-service by serving them up an incomplete platter of Christianity, and yet presenting it as the whole meal. Discipleship is rarely found in larger churches. For that matter, I see a blatant lack of true care for people many times. Our church buildings are filled with people, yes these are real people in the church. Not something to make your giant church machine function well. No, they are people, who need to be cared for, nurtured, and brought up and discipled, not sold an incomplete bill of goods.

Are you being inoculated?

Phil