I have lately heard several stories that have just made me hurt.  One of them was a story of a married couple getting a divorce.  The story was one of a long time married couple with several children.  The husband filed for divorce and ran off with his new lover.  Not long ago, I heard another such story. 

Not that divorce is uncommon, but when I hear of dear friends getting separated or divorced, it just hurts.  Sometime perhaps I will explore the theological and Biblical dimensions of divorce, but for now, I would just like to say that in my mind, the biggest reason that the Bible says that God hates divorce is that it hurts people.  I have not heard of a divorce yet that doesn't leave people battered and torn.  Whether we feel that there is Biblical precedence or not for divorce, that to me is not the issue at hand.

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“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.”  Psalm 20:7

Lately, I have been reflecting much upon the idea of what I trust in.  With so many people out of work, I am finding some in my classes re-thinking why they do what they do. 

I recently had a student tell me that she had once had aspirations to be a model, and she intermingled with all the right crowd.  She became rather well known, but always had this feeling that if she didn’t say or do the right thing that she would be expelled.  She had a constant fear of failure.  She felt as if there were expectations placed upon her that she must meet or else rejection would occur.

It is so easy to put our trust in security, in a stable job, in a ministry that seems healthy, etc.  But what happens when this rug gets pulled out from under us?  What happens when we lose a job, or are asked to resign from a ministry and we feel like we don’t measure up?  

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I had a funny occurrence last night.  I was reading to two of my kids from "The Jesus Storybook Bible".  (On a side note, this is by far the best kids story Bible I have seen.  Theologically and Biblically solid and accurate to scripture, always pointing to Christ.  I highly recommend it). 

So anyway, last night we read the story of Jesus' birth.  It gave not John's version, but the more traditionally heard Luke story.  At the end of it, my daughter Addy (5) said, "What?  God really came to earth as a baby?  That can't be right."  I said that this was true, and she began to look highly confused and recounted the story to me and then asked, "so God came as a baby and then grew up to die?  God?  What?" 

The longer we have been Christians, the more easily it is to overlook this story, and not even really think about it for the truth that it is, and the reality that it really occurred.  Practically, we sometimes view this sort of story as mythology.  It sometimes take the mouth of a child to point out the absolutely absurd and counter-cultural nature of this story (at least by our typical standards of what constitutes a leader/king/etc.)

What kind of God humbles himself, leaves his place of splendor and community with the Father and Holy Spirit to come be born in a stable as a baby only later to be brutally tortured and killed in a shameful way?  Is it any wonder that most people of his day missed Jesus' significance?  Is it any wonder that most people today miss it?  It is no wonder that Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 1:18, "for the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God."

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An unknown guy from South Carolina won the Democratic Primary there.  He basically paid the filing fee, and ran an almost unknown campaign, and by some freakish chance won.  You can read the whole story on Yahoo.

I personally love stories like this.  There is something deep within me that loves when a dude like Alvin Greene wins an election, or upsets the societal expectation.  There is probably a lot that goes into my feeling, but I think a big part of it my slight tendency towards being anti-establishment.  For some reason, I just love when someone who seems to be otherwise an underdog goes up against the big time player and comes out on top.

A bit about Greene:  Unemployed, Military Veteran, Lives with Parents, Ran almost no campaign.  Oh, I almost forgot to mention he has a pending felony charge.  

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Tonight, two of my kids went to bed hungry by their own choice.  Two of my kids complained.  Two of my kids got in trouble and went to bed early.

A few minutes ago, one of them got up and told me, "Dad, I'm Starving."

I explained to her how blessed we are, and that this is one of the reasons that mom and I will not tollerate complaints about food.  I explained that we have so much, and that there are starving children in the world that literally have not enough to eat.

She asked for pictures.

Here are a couple of them I found quickly on google.  My daughters face hard with stubbornness quickly changed to a face of compassion.  She began to ask questions.  The first one was, "why don't their parents just get them some food, or go hunt for some?"  I tried to explain, but words seem futile while looking at these pictures.  She went on to ask more questions about the inequality of food distribution.  

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This morning I was reading Peter Rollins' book “The Orthodox Heretic”.  In it he writes a parable called “Mansions” in which some disciples and Jesus are sitting around a campfire talking about the future kingdom in heaven.  They talk about the mansions and streets of gold, and how amazing it is.  One by one they all drift off to sleep until there is but one disciple left awake with Jesus.

The disciple asks Jesus a question.  He admits that he doesn’t know much about mansions and in fact has never been in one or seen one.  He asks Jesus if there will be any room in heaven for a simpleton like himself.  Jesus then looked at the man with compassion and answered,

“Don’t worry, tucked away in a tiny corner of heaven, away from all the grand mansions and streets of gold, there is a cramped little stable.  It doesn’t look like much inside or out, but on a clear night you can see the stars shine bright amidst the cracks, and you can feel the warm breeze caress your skin.  In this kingdom, that is where I live, and you would be welcome to live there with me.”

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The following is something my wife Sarah wrote today, and it brilliantly illustrates what is on my mind.  I probably could not have written this today, but wanted to share her words.

From Sarah's Blog Today, March 8:

Eighteen years ago today, my husband's father died.

It started out like any other day. Phil was a junior in high school, the only child of two incredibly loving parents. Phil's dad, Ed, was the senior pastor at a large, thriving and growing church in Tucson, Arizona. His mom was just about as sweet and kind as anyone you've ever met.

Mom & Dad were in Seattle for a couple of days, teaching at a church where they had many friends, and had lived before. Phil stayed in Tucson. It was a Sunday afternoon. Phil got a phone call from someone his family knew in Seattle. Ed had been in a pretty bad car accident.

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Yesterday, as I made some phone calls to a couple different friends, a verse was brought to my attention a couple different times (and also through an excellent blog by John Barry "Worry is Like a Dancing Bear").  This verse has been a favorite of mine for quite some time, but this morning I went back and read it again.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?...indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  So do not worry aobut tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  (Matthew 6:25-34)

Looking back a bit farther in Matthew 6 we find “The Lord’s Prayer.”  In it, there is the phrase, “give us this day our daily bread.”  

Today, as I sit and write, I can hear the birds singing outside.  They sing in an outside where it has been cold and dark and dead for the last several months here in Idaho.  Now, we are beginning to see signs of life.  We are beginning to see some new green grass grow, and some buds peeking out of branches.  The sun has been out for several days and we have played outside.

The birds of the air are taken care of even through winter.  In the life of my family, we have experienced a winter.  But, God has been so faithful to provide us daily bread, gently bringing us along through the winter to a place where we can see some light and growth as we feel we are nearing the spring.

We do not know what God has in store for each of our lives.  However, we do know that we can trust this one who is so faithful to provide for our needs, bringing daily bread, and taking care of our needs.  

Dear God, let us not forget the winters in our lives, and let us not forget your magnificent provisions that are more than we can ask or imagine.  Forgive us of our worrying and fretting.  Let us remember these times, and be an instrument of grace to others as they traverse through winters.  Amen.

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So I have been noticing around conversantlife a theme of very serious blogs lately.  My own last blog took on a very somber tone.  I don't want to discount any of these blogs or thoughts, but I did want to add a slightly lighter blog to balance my own thoughts as of late.  Not everything in this life needs to be so heavy.

I saw two signs today.  This first one spoke to me prophetically for where I am at currently.  To learn what we need to learn, our family needed to come to where we are at.  God has been at work healing and doing some stuff in our lives, and today, when I read this sign, it was a visual reminder of the process and path that I am on.

The second sign is much lighter.  I had seen this before but never photographed it.  Is there really any explanation needed?

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So, it has now been almost 7 months of being unemployed (at least full-time employment).  Today, I am extremely discouraged.  Not only is it overcast and depressing outside, but my heart is heavy and overcast as well.

We are learning a lot here and honestly believe that God brought us here for some reason, but we are unsure of what.  I do know one thing.  He is breaking us down, and making us uncomfortable in the process.  I am not into discomfort.  I personally would much rather live life in all of my comforts and securities, with lots of ease.

But, alas, this is not what God has promised or even intended for us.  Instead, it seems he wants to stretch and grow us.  He is teaching me about my attitude, and that I need desperately to change it.  He is reminding me of his call on my life.  He is showing me that I have a propensity to always be looking on the other side of the fence in order to see the greener grass.  I am learning that I am bad at being satisfied where I am.  You know that phrase, “wherever you are, be all there”?  Yeah, I suck at that.

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