It's no secret that in my younger days, I wanted to be a rock
star. It was simple, really. I would compose cutting-edge but timeless
music, with relevant but flippant lyrics, creative but mindless dance
grooves, and inventive but totally catchy hooks. And rock and roll
babes would flock to me, asking for my autograph, tugging at my leather
pants, undressing me with their eyes, but loving me for my mind.
Actually, I was never that naive. But I was close.
You see, the greatest part of my naivete was not that I thought it
was easy, nor that I thought I was good enough. It was that I didn't
realize how vain and fruitless the quest for fame is.
This striving toward celebrity is embedded in many of us artists, isn't it? When we are brutally
honest with ourselves—and some of us may not have the emotional quotient
to understand ourselves with that degree of authenticity—we find that
our drive can come from unhealthy places. The pride which bubbles
beneath the surface of our public image; the inflated self-image that we
are cooler, more talented, more deserving than we really are. Or the
poor self-image that drives us to posture and pretend, forever comparing
ourselves with others and coming up short; the insecurities that drive
us to succeed so that we might break the chains of our self-perceptions.
Then there is the unstated and untrue belief that fame will somehow
bring us happiness and love and acceptance. Ultimately, the things that
drive us to want celebrity may often be found in a complex web of lies
such as these.
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