(Please note: There is graphic language which may be offensive to some.)

These days can be a crazy time to live in. There are all sorts of issues that arise on a second by second basis. One begins to ask the very real theological question, “Where is God in all of this?” Moreover, “Does God even care?” Tupac was no different, he asks the question in context and from a marginalized perspective: I wonder if the Lord ever heard of me?

 

If you have ever had some tough times to live through, then these are questions that are real. They get at the very depth of theological understanding that I look for and where I want to find God. But, they are troublesome in nature; they question existence; they question reality; they question dogma; they question tradition & culture; they even question God—a blaspheme worthy of the auto de fé in the Spanish Inquisition. Yet, in all of this, they are necessary questions for the growth and development of faith. Tupac places these issues at our feet and begs of us to begin the very difficult journey of faith development within the crap of life—the murky middle of faith.

Contextual Issues

In context, Tupac is asking the very real question of God’s knowledge and identity towards him in the ‘hood. Tupac asks:

Walkin around, ready to light sh** up

But since my life is f***, some say I'm slightly nuts

Buck buck is the sound as I move up

Other niggaz pay attention when a fool bust, huh

They make a nigga be a killer; I used to be a dealer

but they wanted to see who's realer

Now them same mother****  wanna murder me

And I wonder if the Lord ever heard of me, huh

I need loot, so I'm doin what I do

Even within the profane of it all, Tupac still asks can God handle me? Can God still accept me within 1) the demand and necessities of my context and 2) the person I have become? Moreover, life is difficult and has caused me to do some things I am not exactly proud of, but, I still need to do in order to survive.

In the epic film City Of God, a young man grows up in a crime-ridden slum of Rio de Janerio. There, life is not as clear and clean cut as it is here; sin is so “clearly laid out” as we have here; life is a complete disaster and one must figure out how to even exist. Is God still present? Yes, of course, but how does one cope with “God’s love” within a messed up and even crappier situation? Again, Tupac asks that very real question: Will the Lord forgive us of all our sins? Does Heaven have a ghetto? Not that Heaven should be ridden with impoverished conditions that necessitate an enclave of ‘hoods, but the question still remains, is there a contextualized version of the Gospel for me? Because all that has ever been displayed to me is a Heaven that is rich, clean, “pure,” free of all “bad things” (which would include me), and a Heaven from a very White Western perspective; this makes for a theological paradox for many living in such horrible conditions. People living in such conditions have never seen a “Heaven like” reality; therefore, it is a valid question to ask. Once again, Tupac asks of us to peer into the messy theology called life.

Holding On

If there was ever a message that was needed in the ‘hood, it is the message to hold on. Far too many times I have seen young people, particularly Black males, loose their grip on hope and dreams and turn to pessimism, despair, cynicism, and doubt of the future. The Gospel of Matthew^[1] recounts Jesus telling His disciples and the crowds, to come unto Him when they were broken, poor spirited, dismayed, and marginalized.

The “hold on” message from Tupac was to encourage those who have given up or were about to give up. Within this message, Tupac encourages his listeners to see that there is hope for a brighter tomorrow:

God

When I was alone, and had nothing

I asked for a friend to help me bear the pain

No one came, except God

When I needed a breath to rise, from my sleep

No one could help me… except God

When all I saw was sadness, and I needed answers

No one heard me, except God

So when I'm asked…who I give my unconditional love to?

I look for no other name, except God (Shakur 1999)

Here in the poem, entitled “God,” Tupac lets the readers know that God does help, care, and love His people. Tupac tells you that God comes when we call on Him and comes when no one else is there.

For Tupac, there is a sense of optimism in the midst of extreme pain, hurt, despair, and violence. Still, Tupac continually calls the person to a higher plain; as Jesus would also do. It is in this higher level of understanding God that we will find a deeper connection to God and His plan for our lives.

This “hold-on” message, however, was contrasted with the constant reality that the streets and ‘hood context were present. For Tupac, there was the everlasting knowledge that this earth was not the final resting place, and that things were, as he put it, fu**ed up! Still within all of the despair, Tupac encouraged you to look for deeper signs of God and peace here on earth. For Tupac, there were too many signs of God in the world not to hold on for something deeper. Signs such as a mother’s love for her children, the miracle of birth, a sunset, natural beauty in clouds, and the simple fact that Tupac knew he was put here on this earth to do something more than just take up space.

This ideology connected with a concept that Rudolf Otto calls “The Mysterium Tremendum” (1925: 12-24). For Otto, this meant the mysteriousness of what God did in spite of an appalling situation. For Otto, this meant that, “A God comprehended is no God” (1925: 25). In other words, holding on, does not always mean it will make sense or will even “feel right.” This was an area for Tupac that helped him deal with the bigger picture of sin and the brokenness of humankind.

Holding on, for Tupac, meant that he could live with a little ambiguity and that God would come, even if it meant God would come when Tupac was dead. This was a hard concept to comprehend, but, holding on and taking our “burdens” to a figure we have never physically felt or seen could also be construed as incomprehensible.

Heard Of Me?

Today we have pressing issues that make us question a lot. Make no mistake, this seeps into our worship, theology, Christology, and even eschatology. Injustice can sometimes be overlooked as long as it is not happening in our own backyard. Moreover, it is quite easy from our ivory pews to miss what is happening right across the tracks (or whatever borderline your city has drawn between the rich and the poor). The real truth is that God has heard of us, but for many, its just too hard to conceptualize that in a lived faith, for others its easy to hide and bury themselves in church after coming out of such nefarious conditions in the ‘hood, still for others it causes a sense of atheism and as Old Dogg in Menace II Society put it, “I don’t think the Lord cares for us too much. Look where we stay at, it’s all messed up!” For the small few who are able to grapple with this it is imperative to develop a contextualized gospel message—much like the one Tupac had for the ‘hood. Someone needs to know that God has not only heard of you, God cares and is ready to walk with you through the crap of both your life and the context you are living in. I know I am ready to get started with that.